Monday, September 26, 2016

Dear Voters: This Is Not A Drinking Game

The first Presidential debate of 2016 is tonight.

I'm not entirely sure that the word debate is really going to adequately describe what is about to happen, though.

Mostly, there will be a lot of rambling and interrupting and promises to "Make America Great Again" from one side. The other will, I hope, be the voice of reason that dares not to slip up even one time because we all know damned well that if she does, she'll be eaten alive by the internet and the media, after being ripped to shreds for what she's wearing, her tone and how tired she looks, of course.

One candidate can literally say nothing truthful and his followers shout louder. They don't care about facts or lies, they just like what he says.

The other displays even the tiniest bit of inconsistency and she's condemned for being a liar.

(Among other things...)

I saw my first

TRUMP THAT BITCH

bumper sticker this past weekend.

I've seen them online, wanting to believe that they weren't real stickers, that they were just memes created by bored trolls online with nothing better to do than start fights with strangers.

Nope.

It's totally a real thing.

The fact that it was slapped onto the back of a brand new Porsche??? I'm not sure whether that makes it more laughable or more terrifying.

In the next few hours, you're going to inevitably see about 1/4 of the people you know online share some link with some grid or some set of made up rules that makes the debate into a drinking game.

Normally, I share them too.

There's way too much at stake in this election to be so flippant. Way too much.

Besides which, if you were to actually attempt to play a drinking game during whatever the hell actually happens tonight, you could end up with alcohol poisoning. Seriously, you guys.

This is a hugely important election.

This is not a drinking game.

I repeat, this is not a drinking game.

Vote.

Please vote.

Please, please, please vote.

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