Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Things That Piss Me Off Tuesday - the distraction edition


I'm in a mood, and I've totally been an asshole all week, so consider yourselves warned. I hate when I'm like this...when I know that I've got a short fuse and I know that everything is going to set me off. I hate when I get sucked into internet drama and comment on things I shouldn't comment on. I HATE IT.

I need a week in the mountains.


Very soon.

Until then, though, this is what you get. I'd say sorry but I'm really not all that sorry actually and I stopped apologizing for things I'm not actually sorry about a while back.

Pay attention to the things you aren't paying attention to
We really don't need to keep talking about bathrooms. Trans people aren't the threat and they never were. This whole thing being used to distract you. Marginalizing them is a political move.

There's another oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico.

Congress wants a raise.

Zika is coming.

I got yelled at yesterday
I was already in this preexisting shitty mood when the doorbell rang. It was a guy trying to sell magazine subscriptions for one of those well documented scam organizations that takes advantage of people in order to elicit sympathy but doesn't actually ever do any of the stuff it claims to do. Those ones.

I'm pretty familiar with them after working around nonprofits for basically my entire adult life.

Anyway, I was in a mood because it's May and it was 5pm and my toddler was raging around the house and the dog was hobbling around and my knees hurt because it was raining and a whole bunch of other stuff. I was not in the mood. I was polite, I said I was not interested. I said I was busy, wished the guy a good day.

Then he proceeded to yell at me, accuse me of not caring about helping people in need, telling me that he knows all about me and the people like me. Walked off in a rage screaming that I should know that black lives matter too.

I was in a bad mood and I know how this scam works. My refusal to just hand you a check because you're playing on my suburban guilt isn't a confession about how I feel or what I think or what I do. I can promise you that I am BY FAR the most vocal advocate for the BLM movement in this neighborhood and I bust my ass trying to open eyes all the time about privilege and race and reality and oppression. You don't know where I spend my time or where I give my extra money. You don't know.

Don't make assumptions about me.


For the love.

Mama drama
Ah, the internet.

So fun sometimes.

One mommy blogger wrote an obscenity laden post telling all the other mommy bloggers that their blogs suck, that they should stop now and give up. I'm not linking to it or to the 9 million response posts or the 17 thousand open letters on social media.

I'm not, mostly because I'm not participating in this thing where women start bashing one another while refusing to own their role in it all.

If you want to write about your family, do it.
If you want to write sponsored posts, do it. (People will lose interest quickly though, I promise.)
If you want to beg for fans with ploys, realize they aren't legit fans and will bail.

I've been doing this forever.

Get off my lawn.

Some people would consider me a mommy blogger. I was, probably, there for a while. Now, not so much. I'm a writer who sometimes writes about her kids, but I don't do niches or rules and I don't play nicely with others, so I basically suck as a blogger anyway.

If I had to sum up what defines me most in life as a writer, it'd go something like this.

- beer & tacos. tacos are the best.
- adhd, anxiety, ptsd & ppd
- legal analysis
- high kicks & kermit arms & all the swears
- kefir & other hippie things (passes out pamphlets)
- longing for chickens & goats
- nerdy stuff & games
- kids I like most of the time, homeschooling
- bearded husband, one that I also like most of the time

I'm not writing saccharin posts about my family, at least not too often.

I'm not tossing anyone under the bus with humiliating stories for the sake of 15 minutes of fame.

I'm not trying to sell you vag cream or scrapbooking materials. Unless you want me to sell you vag cream. DO YOU WANT ME TO SELL YOU VAG CREAM???? (Please say no.)

I'm doing my thing. The pay is virtually nonexistent and it's weird that strangers know who I am sometimes. This ain't the path to fame and fortune, my friends.

Do your thing. If the people out there in the internets like it...cool.

If they don't, they will stop reading.

If you care, care.

If you don't, fine.

No need to shit on someone else in the process.

Baby Bison and stupid people and that part that you didn't think about that I just made you think about and now you're all mad at me....
Some clearly misguided tourists in Yellowstone picked up a baby bison and put it in their car because they allegedly thought it was cold.

I'm digressing. Hang on a second.

This is fucking why we need science education in 
schools, people. This is why common core and 
the idea of certain subjects being covered in 
every state in the country at certain ages is a good thing. 

Okay, hi. I'm back.

Anyway, these tourists did this and the calf ended up being euthanized after mama bison refused to take care of it because those humans touched the baby. Don't touch the babies.

Few things.

- I'm sure they meant well. Intentions don't always line up with how this stuff plays out, though, and saying "but they meant well" isn't going to magically resurrect this baby bison.

- People online shared the post (the first one before the baby died) mostly to laugh at the stupidity of other people. Because this is what happens when you watch reality tv for a generation and your main source of entertainment is the ignorance of others. I'll let you guess which presidential candidate is also a consequence of this generation of reality tv.

- People are now uniformly outraged about this one dead bison, and it's certainly tragic, don't get me wrong...but pay attention to those people who are expressing outrage when they talk about other things, like food stamps...you know, things that affect human babies.

***runs away from the pitchforks that are coming for me***

With that, I'm going to quit writing for the day because I am already totally being an asshole.

Have a good day, hive.

I'll just be here, trying to make sure my blog doesn't suck. ;)


  1. Love your writing! Keep doing your thing! That's why we love ya!

  2. Yes to everything you said..........except you aren't an asshole!

  3. Why did they have to euthanize it? Why couldn't they raise the little guy and then set it free?


Some of My Most Popular Posts