Monday, November 30, 2015

All I want for Christmas, 2015

This is my seventh annual Christmas list. Which is crazy.

There's simply no way I have been doing this for that long.

If you're so inclined, you can read my previous lists here.


I am terrible at making lists. I am terrible at asking for things. When people in real life ask me what I want, I tend to shrug my shoulders and mumble something about not needing anything. 

Which is probably super annoying. I need to be better about that. Gah.

Anyway, my concession is that I do this every year, this list making nonsense. Most of the stuff I ask for is unrealistic, but no one ever said it had to be a reasonable list.

Off we go.

1. I really want the cat we just adopted to get along with the dog. Or to rule over him like a great and powerful overlord. They met for the first time yesterday, and it went pretty well. The poor dog realized that he's not going to be the alpha anything around here. OH WE GOT A CAT, and I haven't written anything here in so long there is no way that you guys would even know that. For that matter, have I introduced the dog? Ack.

Here is Oliver Queen.

And here is Felicity. Of course her name is Felicity. Please tell me that you understand.

2. I want my old mom pains to go away. I'm attributing the uptick in aches to my age, which is naturally helped along by people who live with me saying that I'm SO much older than the last time I had a baby, so of course I've developed tendinitis, and my sciatica has flared up a lot. Of course. Yay.

3. I'd like a portal to the other dimension wherever people go when they die so that I could introduce my parents to the baby.

4. I need new whisks. This is so pathetic and evidence of the fact that being an adult is dumb. But yeah, I need whisks. The fancy ones with silicone parts so they don't scratch pans would be awesome. Did I just get excited about a whisk? For the love.

5. I want to be able to keep the pantry organized. This is a pipe dream, I know. Because 5 kids.

6. I really would like an extra two hours in the day, just for me. Where no one in my house, human, canine or feline, needs anything. Where I can sit with a cup of coffee and actually touch the computer. I haven't written anything in such a long time because I quite literally don't have time. Homeschooling is kicking my ass a bit. It's been awesome for the kids, hell on my writing.

7. I want a wall of bookshelves. A whole wall, floor to ceiling. With a rolling ladder and a handsome leather sitting chair with a tiny table beside it. You know, like on Pinterest. But in real life.

8. I want a dedicated game cabinet. Gawd, if my husband gets wind of this one...anyway, we have a ton of games. Table games, board games, cards games, ALL THE GAMES. The boxes are all different sizes, and because of that, we currently have some here and some there and some in this room and some in that room and I want them all to be in one place, preferably organized in some way that makes sense to me. Yeah. That.

9. I still want a tattoo. Three actually. I'm waiting until the baby is done nursing though, just on the off chance that I have some kind of bizarre reaction to the ink or get an infection or any one of the 8 million things that people with anxiety issues worry about. Yay.

10. I want to never get mastitis again. Twice this year, sonofabitch it hurts. I am currently dealing with the side effects of the antibiotics now. MAKE ALL THE KEFIR. 

11. Oh, speaking of my hippie tendencies....I still would like a clothesline for the summertime. 

12. New sheets would be awesome. More awesome would be having someone here to change the bed and make it all fresh and clean with turn down service and a little mint on my pillow every night. 

13. A Tardis or other method of instantaneous transportation so that we could spend Christmas with my brother and his family without either one of us ending up in a car accident. It would be funny if it wasn't true. We both totally had that happen. Hi, we don't travel for Christmas anymore. 

14. I'd really like an unlimited homeschooling budget. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

15. I want Jon Snow to be alive. 

16. I want Wonder Woman to kick ass.

17. I want Donald Trump to disappear from the face of the Earth for all eternity.

18. I want the keyboard warriors of the world to go outside and find a person in real life to talk to. Yelling at me in all caps isn't going to do anything.

(these last two are repeats, but goddamn they are worth another mention)

19. I want world peace, an end to hunger, freedom for all, true equality and for Citizens United to be overturned. I want Ginsburg to stay on the Supreme Court forever, and I want her replaced with someone as feisty and left leaning as she is when she retires.

20. I want Daryl Dixon sitting under my Christmas tree with his motorcycle and crossbow. Claimed.


  1. What I wouldn't give for Trump to disappear, Daryl Dixon and an organized pantry... Sigh. Well done!




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