Thursday, May 14, 2015

We're okay. Even when we're not.

Dear Mr. Hive,

This week has rattled my cage. A lot. There have been things brought up in the last several days that have reminded me of things in our past, of things that happened, and I'd be kidding myself if I said they weren't bothering me.

They are.

But they're bothering me in a different way than they likely would have been a few years ago. Because things are just different now.

We're different now.

I'm different now.

You're different now.

You wouldn't have been caught dead doing this before.
And this is hot as hell.
Just saying.
There are people out there who'd probably say that we are crazy. There are people who've told me that I am for sure. We shouldn't be together. There were people who didn't think we'd last over twenty years ago when we started college and I went one direction while you went another.

They were wrong. They were all wrong. We made it through that and through everything else that has happened to us, between us, around us, in that time.

Distance was a piece of cake, all things considered.

It hasn't been easy. There were times that I was ready to give up.

So many times.

There were times that I truly believed that you had done just that.

But here we are still.

We're not here because we love each other. That's part of it, sure. It has to be, I think. We're still here because this thing that we have, it's so much bigger than just love. Love isn't enough. I know that now. Love won't fix us. Love won't make us stay. Love won't heal. Love won't do any of those things.

We're still here because we're committed to what we have. We're still here because we were both willing to fight for our family. We're here because we actually fought.

And we both have the scars to prove it.

We aren't perfect, the two of us. We aren't perfect alone and we aren't perfect together, but we don't need to be. We're perfectly imperfect broken people intent on figuring this all out.

Things haven't gone as planned. This life of ours has gone off the rails a few times, but we managed to drag the cars back on track and pick up the debris scattered around us.

Together.

We talk more now. We share more now. We're more open and vulnerable and honest now because we know we have to be. We have to talk about the things that hurt us before they evolve into things that will hurt us.

We're here.

And we're okay.

Even when we're not.

I love you. I love who you are now more than I've ever loved you before, scars and all.

Love,
Kelly

2 comments:

  1. "We're still here because we're committed to what we have. We're still here because we were both willing to fight for our family. We're here because we actually fought." You are still together with all the ups and downs and that speaks volumes for the both of you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sounds like my husband and I. 31 hard fought years!

    ReplyDelete

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