Friday, March 20, 2015

Welcome to my brain

I have been feeling like I need to write almost constantly lately, which would be great if I was writing. I'm not most of the time because of the baby. He's teething and occasionally miserable these days. Between that and the reality that I live in my car shuttling kids around all day, I just don't get much time to sit here and peck away.

I'm giving myself 20 minutes today to get as much out as I can before I have to go do all the things.

ALL THE THINGS.

Which means also that I need to take a shower and put on pants and be presentable to the world and resist the urge to snarl at humans.


Right now, that's asking a lot.

Anyway, it's been a week around here. I was already in a weird place then all the horrible things happened that happened here in town and now I'm just numb.

As it always does, though, life goes on regardless of what else happens and even though tragedy struck here pretty profoundly this week, there are still things that need done because there are still things scheduled for this weekend.

That pesky life thing. Always going on and such.

Anyhow.

I'm moody about writing. I'll tell you why. Actually there are a few reasons.

The first is that it's still bizarre to me that complete strangers read what I write. It's cool and I love it almost all the time but there are times that it freaks me out a little bit.

I had someone from my fan page share a picture of one of my kids this week. It seems like there is a language barrier and some misunderstanding about who I am, but it is still creepy as hell. It makes me want to stop sharing pictures of my kids. Gah.

I went through and yanked a ton of old posts here about my kids too. Mostly because they are old posts and no one but me ever read them anyway, but also because I'm freaked out.

This internet is a strange place you guys.

I wrote about the local tragedies yesterday for a few reasons. The main reason is that it's just how I process stuff, and I was upset by the comments that I was seeing all over the place, the assumptions made about this city, the mental health piece that tends to get overlooked once something horrible happens. As it turns out, both of these events weren't exactly isolated, totally unpredictable things. There were warning signs, signs that people ignored, signs that should have thrown up red flags. That all makes it more tragic, I think because it decreases the element of chance. It's not just random violence if there are warnings it is coming.

We seriously need to do better.

Anyway, that post that I wrote yesterday...it did what the posts that I tend to write in response to emotional news stories do, and it went viral. Mildly.

I expressed sadness and frustration about that to my husband, about how I hate that the stories I write about the worst things that happen in our world seem to so often be the ones that are read by the most people. He made some comment about how maybe that was just my niche.

I write other things, people of Earth. I promise. You can read them too.

Sigh.

I don't want to be known as the bearer of bad news.

There are so many good things to share, so many good stories to tell. Today is apparently international happiness day, and it's the first day of Spring....so let's shower and put on pants and go outside, you guys.

Who is with me?

Hooray Spring!

Achoo.

Sorry....I'm allergic to outside. Bring some tissues.

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