Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Things That Piss Me Off Tuesday - the RSVP edition

There's kind of a lot this week, you guys. I posted the weekly TTPMOT rant on my Facebook page this week, as I've done for....at this point....years now, and had to add a disclaimer about how it's okay for people to vent and to let them without criticizing them, that venting is healthy as long as it isn't all you do. Really?

Yes, really. I had to add that little disclaimer because it seems that every week lately when I post that thread on the great book of face, someone has to tell me that it's stupid to vent or has to give someone crap for what they are whining about or has to tell everyone to think positive or has to try and one-up whatever everyone else is dealing with and claim that no one else has real problems because they have to deal with ______ (fill in the blank).

Jaysus, people. Everything is relative. What might be minuscule for you might be overwhelming for someone else.

Anyhow, on to the things pissing me off....other than that, obvs.

Taking Dignity Away
Last week a church here in Colorado made nationwide news, and not for a good reason. Vanessa Collier passed away and her family arranged to have her funeral at the church. As people began to file into the church for the service, the church abruptly said that they wouldn't be able to hold the services there and moved the funeral across the street to a funeral home.

The reason? Vanessa was a lesbian and her family intended to show a video photo montage that included images of her and her partner. The church had asked the family to remove the images and they refused, saying that they weren't about to edit her life.

This story makes me sick to my stomach. This woman was used to make a point in her death, and that's just wrong. I'm so sick of people using religion as a weapon against others, even in their death.

The Price of Friendship
In this week's edition of adults fucking things up for their kids, we have this story. A mother, pissed off that a father had rsvp'd to her child's party but didn't come, elected to send him an invoice. A bill. For non-attendance. They refused to pay and now the mother is actually threatening to take them to small claims court.

I so wish I was kidding.

There are so very many things wrong with this whole jacked up situation, but let me see if I can summarize my feelings on the matter.

First, no one owes you a damn thing. No one owes your kid a damn thing. If you're so hard up for birthday party funds that you are billing people who don't show, maybe you should re-evaluate your birthday party budget.

Second, people not rsvp'ing to parties is annoying, yes. Sometimes people say they are coming but end up not being able to make it for one reason or another. Shit happens.

Third, you've officially made it almost impossible for your kid to have normal friends because all the parents in a 50 mile radius of you will be leery as hell, and for good reason.

When did society become one so deep rooted in entitlement? For fucks sake.

Jury Selection Begins Today
Jury selection in the James Holmes trial begins today, and the whole thing is unnecessary. A plea deal has been on the table for a good long time now, one that the prosecutor refused. Holmes was willing to plead guilty and be sentenced to life in prison. His only stipulation was that the death penalty be taken off the table.

The prosecutor refused.

The state of Colorado is damn close to ending the use of the death penalty as it is. It is rarely ever used, and the cases where it has been applied aren't without ample controversy. It costs more to put a convict to death than to house them for the rest of their lives, as much as some people refuse to believe that truth.

Look, I used to freaking work for the District Attorney in Los Angeles. I'm all in favor of justice. What I'm not in favor of, though, are misplaced attempts to seek justice, especially when they appear politically motivated. 

Holmes will never be put to death by the state, that much I can guarantee you. He's willing to just take life. Instead, the DA is pursuing the death penalty in a case that is certain to cost the state millions and millions of dollars to prosecute. No conviction is guaranteed at trial, especially since he is claiming insanity. Jurors will be asked to serve for months. The entire situation will be rehashed in that court room over and over again, forcing all the families to relive the events of that day.

Instead, because of an ill-advised insistence that seeking the death penalty is the only acceptable means to justice, we'll be wasting a ton of money.

American Sniper
I haven't read the book. I haven't seen the movie.

I'm not here to opine on either.

I'm disappointed that the response to the movie has divided people even more in this country, that it seems to have bolstered this belief that certain ethnic groups, certain nationalities, certain religions are inherently evil somehow.

I wish, oh how I wish, that the movie hadn't just attempted to humanize one man, to simplify him in order to solidify his persona as a hero. He was far more complicated and some of those complications should disturb us.

More than that, I wish people were talking about military mental health right now, about the PTSD that killed him, about how little we seem to care about soldiers when they return home, about the fact that it is possible to both support soldiers and be opposed to the wars they fight and die in.

There is an opportunity to do good here. We should be doing that instead of arguing.


  1. A disclaimer, on Facebook! How ridiculous, though I see why. That's pretty darn prissy. As I read that,even I got I upset at the ridiculousness of it. So far as the kid's birthday party...um yeah, stupid. And along the lines of what you said...maybe the family shouldn't have thrown an extravagant party that they maybe couldn't afford just for competitions sake. As for the bill, I wouldn't pay it and further a challenge in court is simply that unless there was clear language then a rsvp isn't a contract. Now I know different courts might handle that differently, but that's where I stand on the issue.

    The other points, we'll made. I have to look into this American Sniper thing, but as a whole I agree military PTSD is more of what should be discussed. Well, that and the unjustified wars that have been going on 10 years plus!

  2. Good opinions- as opinions always are but yours are always delivered with so much bloody common sense that it is hard to believe that most people don't have any sense at all!

  3. Thank you. I knew how I felt but could not have clearly stated it. You said exactly how I felt. You are pretty great that way


Some of My Most Popular Posts