Thursday, November 6, 2014

My Inner Critic, a Guest Post from Mome


I'm thrilled to be sharing another guest post from mome with you all today. Rather soon after the last post went live, she asked me if I'd be interested in running another piece. Without a moment of hesitation, I said yes.

This is what she sent, and I'm in love with it.


Wilson: Who's Harvey?
Miss Kelly: A white rabbit, six feet tall.
Wilson: Six feet?
Elwood P. Dowd: Six feet three and a half inches. Now let's stick to the facts.
Harvey (1950)
Starring: Jimmy Stewart as Elwood P. Dowd

I'd like to introduce my inner critic.
His name is Ralph.
He's a 6 foot tall white rabbit.

Ralph comes and goes. He's a bit of a free spirit.
I haven't seen Ralph for a while, but he's reappeared recently.
He's got a lot to say about my first attempt at writing in as long as I can remember.
I wrote a guest blog last week, exposing a lot of feelings I haven't shared before.
Ralph thinks it's very egotistical to write about myself.
He thinks people will think I am just looking for attention.
He doesn’t like my writing.

Ralph also reminds me of all my faults.
I’m too heavy
I don’t exercise enough
I watch too much TV and spend too much time on the computer.

Ralph originally appeared about 10 years ago. I was struggling with a lot in my life and I really had to compartmentalize a lot of things in order to cope.

Anger
Self-image
Feelings of inadequacy
Self-criticism

Just sweeping them under the virtual rug wasn’t working anymore (it was getting pretty lumpy under there), so I tried visualizing them.
Making them kind of silly.
Naming them.
Cartoony characters worked well for me.
About the time I “named” my inner critic, Ralph, I ran across this comic… it seemed too perfect  to be coincidental. Thank you Universe

6.03.04.jpg

Ralph, in the strip was an invisible childhood playmate, but he was just snarky enough to become the perfect image for my inner critic. And nobody had to know about him.

Sometimes Ralph is helpful.
Sometimes he keeps me from doing or saying or eating things that I may regret.
Sometimes he just a big furry pain in the ass.

It's not a good idea to eliminate Ralph, or any of the other issues I’ve compartmentalized.
He does serve his purpose.
But sometimes when he gets a little too outspoken, I need to stick Ralph in the corner.

I put him at a corner table in a very dark bar. He can cool his jets where I can’t hear him while I stand on the stage of life and make a fool of myself. Or not. My voice. My choice.
He doesn’t get a say in it.

Harvey again...
Elwood P. Dowd: Well, I've wrestled with reality for 35 years, Doctor, and I'm happy to state I finally won out over it.

I have friends who seriously worry about me when I talk about Ralph.
Others just see it as “my quirky sense of humor”.
Either way, I figure it's better than some of the alternatives.

It may sound a tad bit nuts, but it works for me and Ralph.

mome (pronounced mom-my) is an ex-teacher and software project manager living in WA with 3 cats, 2 boys, 1 dog, 1 husband and 1 hamster.

currently she herds cats and boys, tries to keep herself healthy and coach others do the same.

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