Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Things That Piss Me Off Wednesday - the I didn't get anything done yesterday edition

Waves.

I've been up for hours. Didn't sleep well at all last night. The footsteps that follow mine everywhere I go aren't here anymore. My constant companion is gone.

We had to put our dog down yesterday. We had known for years that he had several tumors, at least a few of which were cancerous but inoperable. We knew this day was coming, but knowing that doesn't make it easier because you never think that today will be that day. Then you wake up one morning and the dog that has been a part of your family for over a decade is disoriented and confused, walking in circles and crying, and so a piece of your heart slowly breaks knowing what you have to do.

He was here for the births of three of our children, he moved cross country with us, he endured sharing his home with the dog who came before him, with four different cats (none of which ever liked him much), with other dogs that came and went and often brought chaos. He was here to console me when I lost my parents, when all the rest of my world fell apart. When I'd go out for walks and scream at the sky, he was with me. Always.

I joked that he wasn't my dog, and in many ways I was right. He was my shadow when no one else was home, but once the kids were here he was protecting, guarding, watching. And once my husband was home, I was just the other person in the house. The truth is though, he and I spent more time together than he spent with anyone else, and he should be here right now, creaking down the stairs with me before anyone else awakens, sipping coffee in the kitchen quietly.

But he's gone.

This is the first time in my entire life that I have been without a pet, and I'll admit that I am a little lost. He was such a good dog though, you know what I mean...that the hole left won't ever be filled again. There will always be someone missing, no matter how many other dogs we welcome into our family eventually. There are dogs, and then there are great dogs.

He was one of the great ones.

His last picture.
So, forgive me if I'm off my game today. I didn't get anything done yesterday, aside from making a million phone calls trying to get him in somewhere so we could do what we had to do. I'm sobbing as I write this, so I'll probably be a little less angry than I normally am here today. I'm sure you'll all understand.

There are a few stories I am not covering here intentionally because I'm hoping to dedicate entire posts to them later on this week, including the SCOTUS separation of church and state case.

Rapists, Victims and Judges
A 14 year old girl in Texas was raped. We know she was raped, that issue isn't in dispute. Her 18 year old attacker pled guilty. Whether he is guilty or innocent isn't even a hypothetical discussion here. He did it.

Now that we've made that clear, it should be fairly obvious that when it comes time for sentencing that the judge should select a sentence that punishes him appropriately for his crime, right?

Wrong.

He was sentenced to 45 days in jail and probation. If he completes his probation without incident, he can have the conviction removed from his record. 

The reason?

The judge said, "she wasn't the victim she claimed to be."

Whatintheactualfuck????

She had three prior sexual partners and had given birth to a child already, so in the eyes of the judge that made this victim somehow less of a victim. The judge based his sentence not on the crime the defendant perpetrated but on who his victim was.

Rape is rape. It has nothing to do with whatever else she has done in her life before that moment where this man decided to attack her. A victim is a victim. Period.

This is a horrible miscarriage of justice, and screams to all sexual assault victims that it's not worth their time coming forward...because the criminal will get slapped on the wrist, but they will be publicly shamed.

Monica, Monica, Monica
I wasn't going to write about this, but then I said why not?

Monica Lewinsky had one of the most infamous affairs in recent history, as part of the sordid relationship that led to the impeachment attempt on President Bill Clinton.

The Clintons, for the most part, came out of the whole mess intact and without sacrificing their jobs or public personas. Many have chastised the President for his indiscretions (not uncommon by men holding that office, or any position of power and influence for that matter), saying that it tarnished his time there. For the most part he was a pretty good president who was held up to the fire for something he did that many of those holding the end of the poker he was attached to were just as guilty of.

I mean, come on Newt. Do you not own a mirror??? Gingrich is a repeating cheater, wholly lacking in any moral ground to stand on when it comes to judging another for the same indiscretions he was guilty of. You could even make the argument that his situation was worse because it resulted in the destruction of his marriages and he was actively involved in the affair with his current wife, Calista during the proceedings. 

The hypocrisy is magnificent.

Anyhow, it's news again because Monica is coming out of hiding. She says she was publicly shamed and that the media has torn her to bits, ruining her career aspirations and even forcing her out of the country. She says that the experience devastated her.

I'll play her a tiny violin.

What exactly did she think was going to happen? Honestly.

On one hand, from the pieces of the memoir I've seen, she seems to say that he "took advantage of her", but then in other pieces says that it was totally consensual. Can't have it both ways. Either you were a willing participant or your weren't. 

She was put through the ringer by the media, no one would deny that. The degree of shunning and shaming that she was subjected to is one that we haven't seen done to almost anyone else, this is true. Was it completely unjustified? I guess that is a question that only you can answer for yourself. I certainly don't think she deserves to have her entire life ruined.

I tend to think that if you intentionally participate in a relationship with someone that visible, that powerful, that much in the public eye, you are running the risk that people are going to find out..and when they do, particularly if it leads to impeachment proceedings (which it did), you're going to be a pariah.

I'm sure she wasn't thinking about the consequences of what she did when she did it. People hardly ever consider consequences, but their lack of consideration isn't something that absolves them of responsibility for what they have done.

What bothers me about the whole situation the most is that we, in this society, seem to give the cheating men a free pass as long as they're otherwise good at whatever it is they do...but the women involved are loathed, hated, cast out of society.

Why????

It might have something to do with our twisted sexist society. Maybe.

Prom draft?
Corona del Mar high school in California is in the news, but not for a great reason. The boys at the school have apparently devised a prom draft, where girls are assigned a value based on their looks. They are then ranked, and boys are supposedly choosing who to ask to prom based on the draft numbers. 

No, I'm not kidding.

My first reaction to this was actually not shock, which might be shocking to some of you. Back when I was a freshman in college, I rushed for sororities (that might shock you though). I lasted one day, sickened by the entire experience. While we walked up and down the street where the sorority and fraternity houses were located, on the front yards of about half of the frat houses were couches lined up, full of eager young men holding signs.

Ranking us.

It was disgusting. I left early and never went back.

The only thing shocking about this most recent high school draft situation is that it is happening in a younger age group, and it is happening so publicly. There is a rule book for scores and the results are being shared publicly on Twitter.

Quick, someone tell me again how we don't objectify women in this society. Tell me how we aren't teaching kids from young ages that judging girls purely on their looks isn't happening. Tell me. I dare you.

More Girls Gone
Eleven more girls were abducted after two villages were attacked, allegedly by Boko Haram, the same group responsible for the abduction of 276 school girls in Nigeria three weeks ago. 

Three weeks have gone by and the international community is becoming increasingly outraged that more hasn't been done to find the girls. Yesterday, the Nigerian government finally formally asked for assistance in the matter.

I've written about it a few times here and on Lefty Pop, and have been tremendously disheartened by people telling me that they haven't heard about the girls anywhere else. The media here in the US has largely ignored the story until this week, and social media outrage is heavily driving the coverage now.

Hopefully now that international assistance is involved, the efforts to find the girls and rescue them will be stepped up significantly. #bringourgirlshome

7 comments:

  1. Oh I'm so sorry. I went through the same thing a few years ago. It was the only experience that ever broke my heart. It heals...

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  2. I think it makes it even worse that the Judge in the rape case was a woman. Rape is rape. It does not matter if the victim had sex before or even had a child at 14. This was completely disheartening.

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  3. Pets are in reality family members. I had to have my dog put down last year and it is one of the the most difficult decisions to make. I know what you are going through and am sorry to know what you had to do.

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  4. I am so, so, so incredibly sorry for your loss. He looks like such a wonderful, good boy! You gave him an incredible life, and that you should be proud of.

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  5. I am so sorry for your loss. Pets are such a huge part of the family and their absence is devastating. He was a gorgeous dog.

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  6. RIP .... we call our golden retriever Buddy our son. I can't imagine. HUGS

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  7. I lost my soul kitty a year ago. Like Jake, he had been there with me through multiple other pets, homes, relationships, jobs, and heartbreaks. My heart ripped in two when he died, and I have never been the same. Keep your eyes peeled because these particular animals come back to us in dreams, on the wind, and through other animals. Peace to you.

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