Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Things That Piss Me Off ~ the it's colder than a witches tit edition

I'm writing this mostly on Monday afternoon in the hopes that nothing new will come along and piss me off before tomorrow. So be cool, you guys...be cool.

I just finished an epic IM conversation with a friend from high school who is a lawyer like me and we basically figured out how to save the world.

Ready? I'm about to blow your minds.

Give every single adult a joint and a book. At the same time.

People would calm the f*ck down and maybe learn something. Maybe they'd be able to talk to each other and be reasonable and shit.

I don't know why I censored one but not the other, but it's that kind of day, dammit.

Now that I've dropped that knowledge on you, let's get on with the business of the day. I mean of yesterday. Whatever. You know what I mean.


I made this graphic almost two years ago when I started the TTPMOT series and keep forgetting to use it. Maybe if I put it here, I will remember. Maybe.

The Polar Vortex, what does it mean????
First things first. You have to say polar vortex like the double rainbow guy says double rainbow. What does it mean??? If you haven't seen double rainbow guy, here.

...and you're welcome.

Anyway, the polar vortex is this historically huge low pressure system that is sagging down and currently parked over the Eastern half of the US. Every time I see someone claim that the fact that it is really cold right now proves that global warming is a hoax, a fairy dies.

Okay, not really.

Fairies aren't real.

But seriously. I've seen more than a few claims of this pop up online, most notably by the climate change deniers. Which would make sense if you just thought that one storm could negate everything else going on in the world. Or if you didn't understand why the jet stream is all wonky right now, which is what caused this to happen. Or if you ignored the fact that even though it is summer at the South Pole right now, there is a research boat trapped in ice at the same time that it was 129 degrees in Australia. Which makes no sense.

It is happening, people. How much of it we have caused, how much we can do to stop it...not a damn clue. Everyone who has enough money to pay for research in the area has a dog in the fight, so the objective rational people of Earth can't get many straight answers.

In the meantime, stay warm, my friends. Unless you're in Australia. Then strip down to your unders and run in the sprinklers.

The Price of Ethics
Chris Kluwe is a punter in the NFL. Strike that.

Was a punter in the NFL.

He played for the Vikings until he was released in May of last year. He's been in the news before for his advocacy in support of the LGBT community, but that's not why he's in the news this time. He released a statement, an accusation actually, that he was released from the team not because he couldn't compete at that level anymore, he aged out, couldn't hold the position on merit, but because of his advocacy. 

I encourage you to go and read the statement in its entirety if you haven't done so already.

He's fully aware that there were consequences to what he said. He stands by his words, even though they very well may have cost him his career.

I admire him. I admire him a lot. There aren't many arenas in public life more often accused of rampant homophobia than professional sports, football being the worst of them here. It takes a hell of a lot of guts for a guy, a straight one at that, to stand up and say what he did. How many other players took and chance and stuck their necks out, stood with him?

Not many.

I've been fired before for sticking to my guns on ethical issues. I get it. Good on you, man. Good on you.

Tragic Deaths and The Misunderstandings After
There is a case right now that is troubling to say the least. As someone who worked at a hospital and primarily worked on ethics issues regarding perinatal mortality and morbidity, it hurts my soul to know that things like this still happen. As I doula, I cannot even begin to imagine the horror. As a mother, it brings me to my knees.

The details of this case are horrific, so if you can't handle them, please scroll down now.

I'm not kidding.

Last chance.


Rachel Melancon was due on Christmas Day, pregnant with a little girl that she and her fiance had already named Olivia. Only 4'11", she was concerned about the delivery and had asked about an elective c-section, only to be told that wasn't an option. Days later, while in labor, and running a fever, Rachel tried to push out a baby that wasn't going to come out. Rachel's mother alleges the baby was face up, making labor and delivery even more difficult, and that the doctor tried to manually turn the baby.

After pushing wasn't doing the trick, the doctor took matters into his own hands and elected to use the forceps to help deliver the baby. The family claims they heard a loud pop. Still unable to deliver the baby, she was rushed to surgery. The baby's skull was fractured, her spinal cord severed. Olivia was not breathing and the otherwise healthy little girl died five days later.

Her parents are suing the hospital and the doctor.

What has happened is that the case, now garnering national attention, has been shared all over social media. It is horrible and tragic, yes, but it is not at all representative of standard obstetric practice in 2014 in the United States. Forceps deliveries are very rare here because of the risk of injury. Surgical birth is almost universally preferred to forceps. It seems, particularly in the facts of this case, to be a tragic example of provider negligence, though the courts will ultimately be the ones to determine that.

This case had nothing to do with insurance arguments, with Obamacare, with any of the other issues being tossed around in the comments of the posts people are sharing. This case had to do with a dangerous (and some would say outdated) method of assisting a delivery gone horribly wrong. Please don't turn this tragedy into a political argument.

Love and support to the family as they begin to mourn this heartbreaking loss.

What Do Commercials Say About Advertisers? What Do They Say About Us?
There are two new commercials out this week that made me contort my face into strange expressions and made me want to bang my head on the wall.

The first one, the Taco Bell commercial with the boy running down the street munching a giant nacho pocket thing while the girl's dad chases him.

Parents came home early! Oops.

Sooooo funny, right? Not so much. Let's just reinforce all those stereotypes about horny teenage boys and the girls that we need to protect them from, shall we? Let's make fathers look like crazed lunatics. Let's joke about a grown ass man putting a beat down on a kid (assuming of course that he can catch him...) Let's promote teen sex and make sure everyone knows that the perfect food for after the naughty sexy time is Taco Bell. Let's make sure that we air this as many times as possible during football games so that all the teenagers can see it over and over.

Who wants tacos now?

Mmmmmm. Tacos.

In all seriousness, I know a guy this happened to when we were stupid teenagers. Sans giant nacho pocket. Dad did not catch him or give him the subsequent beat down. But still.

Then you have the Old Spice commercial. I saw this one for the first time yesterday and was horrified. Literally.

So, fathers of daughters will hunt down their male suitors and mothers of sons are just batshit crazy.

Creepy and gross and weird and pathetic. I get that it's supposed to be funny and I'm not exactly ecstatic about the reality that my children will eventually all become adults, but I'm not going to turn into a stalker.

Can you smell that? It's manhood.

Take a deep whiff.

Normally, I love the Old Spice commercials, so I'm not sure what went so horribly wrong here. But eww. Like eww. Like totally eww.

You Have The Right To Self Defense, Unless You're Too Good At It
MMA fighter Joe Torrez was at home with his fiancee, his son and a friend on New Year's Day when he received a phone call threatening his life. The caller showed up shortly thereafter with three other guys. When Torrez's fiancee answered the door, they pushed her out of the way and promptly received a beat down, MMA style.

So much for that home invasion.

Torrez did such a good job defending himself and the others in his home that he stabbed and killed one of the assailants. One of the others was sent to the hospital with major facial injuries. The other two were scared into running, though they were tracked down by police eventually. Torrez suffered only very minor injuries himself.

Sounds like the good guy won, right?

Maybe, but Torrez may now be facing charges in the case.

All four assailants are known gang members and there had been previous altercations between them and Torrez, even before the phone call threat made earlier that day.

Makes you wonder....some people get away with shooting others in far less threatening circumstances. This guy took on four intruders to protect his family, did just that, and he might be on the hook for it?

Torrez stopped cooperating with the authorities.

Can't really say I blame the guy.

The Stories We Aren't Hearing
A teenage girl in India was gang raped not once, but twice. Before any of the suspects were even arrested in either case, she was set on fire by friends of the accused men.

She died last week as a result of the burn injuries. 

And you probably didn't hear anything about it.

Yes, it's disturbing. Yes, it's hard to hear and read about atrocities like this one. It's even worse when you realize how prevalent this kind of violence against women is all over the world.

Except that most people, in all likelihood, haven't heard much about it at all.

Our media filters more than most people realize. If you really want news these days, you've got to go looking for it.

If only we had a bunch of 24 hour news channels or something....

Oh. Wait.

Never mind.


  1. I never know anything that's going on until I read it here. Which is good, because I'm already pissed.

    So fuck it, let's all get high and freeze (or fry) to death. I'm game.

  2. so much here

    1) I wear old spice deodorant and love it and yet my mother barely speaks to me and we have a tenuous relationship at best. So that ad is wrong and creepy.

    2) Chris Kluwe was on Chris Hayes's All In show on MSNBC last night. I was impressed that Kluwe came out with his story after the season was over to not distract his former teammates during a horrible season and after Leslie Frazier and his staff were fired and management said that Priefer, the special teams coach and possible bigot was a candidate for the job. Kluwe's motives seem very honest. Also, he was wearing a Principle 6 toboggan showing support for gay athletes going to Sochi for the Olympics.

    3) I'm danced w mary jane maybe six or seven times in my entire life and none since 1997. I never liked it. I can get tired and hungry on my own. But legalizing is the bes solution to a myriad of issues.

    4) welcome to lefty pop, so glad to have you

  3. So.....wait.

    Zimmerman can get away with shooting a kid and claiming self defense, but a MMA fighter can't defend his home and family without getting charges slapped against me?

    I don't want to live on this planet anymore....

  4. I'm with jk. I don't follow the news ... it's all sensationalized B.S. and pisses me off ... now Old Spice is creeping me out and I'm afraid my paradise home (San Diego) may freeze or ignite in flames ... good grief!


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