Friday, October 4, 2013

Caged Bird: I thought I was free, but I need your help

One month ago, today, I shared an anonymous guest post with you all, written by a woman who had been a victim of domestic violence. Over a thousand of you read it. Many of you commented. A few of you reached out to tell me your stories, to offer help.

Help, she needs and she needs it now.

She is out, she is safe, and he is trying to take the one thing she loves most in the world away from her - her children.

She asked me for help today. She is in desperate need of funds to help fight a court order to return the kids to him.

I do not ask you all to donate to causes. I do not ask for help. Neither does she.

Right now, though, she needs it. She needs it desperately. Anything you can spare will help this woman save her children. Please.

Her name must stay secret. I must keep this secret for her. I must keep her safe. Any connection to her will get back to him, and we cannot let that happen.

I'm asking you to trust me right now, and I'm asking you to help.

A thousand of you read her post last month.  If a thousand of you gave just a dollar, she can fight this.

Here is the reason why, in her words.
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You know me.  I've been here before.  I told you a tale of a battered and beaten woman at the end of her rope, dancing along the edge of a cliff.  
I am happy to share that I am out of that deplorable situation.  No longer a prisoner of angry words and hurtful hands.  I ran and I never looked back.  
I am safe.  I am surrounded by loving family and friends who support me as I move forward in my life and begin to heal all of the damage that was done to me.  What was left of me was a wreck, but who I once was still within me.  She was still strong, beautiful, and worthy of love.  I found her again and she is becoming me more and more everyday. 
I am ashamed to admit that the prison bars are still dark shadows that loom over my life, their pattern dances across my face and inside my eyes when I close them for sleep.  
All those miles, all this time, and he has found a way to slap cuffs on my wrists, to enclose me in, to hurt me.
I thought I was free.
I filed for a divorce and requested our children for half of the year.  
I thought that was fair. 
He did not. 
In his twisted way of thinking, in that narrow controlling mind of his, in his sociopathic way that he has, this wasn't fair.  
He found loopholes.  He lied to the courts, to the judges, on the paperwork.  Bold lies dripping with venom. 
I fought his loopholes.  I presented proof of the truth.  I showed medical records, court documents, and police reports dictating the history of the abuse.  I paraded so many pieces of paper through my lawyer's office I am guilty of the loss of at least one rain forest.
He found more loopholes.  He told more lies.  
The saddest part of all of this, I only ever wanted what was best for the children.  I love them so very, very much and I want them to be happy, living a life free of abuse, away from the drug use, and all the other terrible things they were witness to.  Away from a life that was not good for them, a fast road to nowhere.  
If he wants to take the road to hell that's fine, I just don't want him taking our children along for the ride.
All I want is what is best for the children.
All he wants is to hurt me. 
He has lost his control over me and he is desperate.  Grasping at straws, doing outlandish deeds, whatever he can to sink those controlling claws back into the woman he once played like a puppet. 
It scares me.
As it stands he was granted full custody of the children and I have only so much time before I am to return them.
Return them to that life. 
I must go, too, so that I can fight the decision in the courts there.
I have one chance to fight this.  My team of lawyers found a way. I am not trying to obfuscate, but I must be so very careful of what I say.  Suffice to say there is still a chance.
Because I can't send them back to those conditions. 
I can't go back to that place.  I won't make it out alive. 
I have until Monday to come up with the remaining one thousand dollars I am shy of for the retainer. 
I am a proud woman.  I do not like charity.
I am also an abused woman who just wants to be safe.
I am also a Mother who wants what is best for her children. 
So, today, I swallow that pride and ask with a lump in my throat, will you help me?

32 comments:

  1. Glad to help any way I can. Bless you and your efforts to keep your children. I hope against hope that justice prevails and you are finally freed.

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  2. I will be asking my hubs to donate in the pay pal account for you. Stay strong. Don't EVER give up. Ever. Ever. Ever.

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  3. Your story - it's my story too. Only 9 months of marriage though. We were together for 3 years & then our son was diagnosed with Leukemia. While he was fighting for his life, I was fighting for custody of him. He was/is my life. He was my world. I knew & everyone that knew me that I was/am an amazing mom to him. I knew what his life would have been if I lost custody of him. Scary, abusive, used. I tried to fight for him but our justice system is so fucked up the only thing that mattered was/is money. I had none. His family was loaded. I lost custody & to this day, I'm still paying child support. He is 19 now. Lived with me for the past 3 years & before that he would stay with me more that half time. I figure I'll be 50 by the time the child support is paid off. No one helped me fight the evilness that was my ex. If they had I don't think I would have lost my son. But if I can help you not have to face the additional pain of losing your children, I will. It won't be much but please know, that with it comes prayers & support. Hugs to you on this battle. Stay strong. Be free & fearless!

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    1. I am so sorry this happened to you. My heart goes out to you.

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  4. I would like to help as your story is very important as is the bravery that it took for you to get away from that abusive asshole. However, as I'm sure you understand, I have been burned by donating online before and have to ask why it was okay with you to allow your soon-to-be-ex to have custody of the children 50% of the time?
    I am not trying to be cold or pesimistic or judgemental at all. I truly want to know why the story goes that you offered shared custody and now you need $1000 by Monday. I want to help. I really really do...
    I have a step daughter who is in a bad situation. My very best friend in the world was in an abusive relationship but I can't, in good faith, help without more details. Please feel free to friend me on FB for a private message. Lizzi knows how to get a hold of me as well. Like I said. I want to help. But I need to know some more details.
    Please don't take that personally. Got burned with a scammer once and am (likely overly) cautious now. Thanks.

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    1. It's an issue of jurisdiction between two different states. She just found out today and has a very short window to return the children to his state, faced arrest or fight it. I have also been burned by scammers online. This is not a scam, I promise.

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    2. Thank you Kristi. <3

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    3. DeBie,
      Thanks. I got some more information last night. Have donated. Awesome that you're helping out.
      xo

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  5. I did what I could through PayPal--I hope it helps. I'll be praying for her. XO

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    1. Thank you so much, Marcia. <3

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  6. Have sent you a little something through paypal honey.You are your children are in my thoughts and prayers. xxxxx

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  7. I wanted you to know that I have nothing to offer but positive thoughts and prayers that I can send your way... I'm struggling with my husband for food money. I wish there was SOMETHING I could offer, but there is not...

    I was in the place of your children... It's a scary place. I'm young, 22 in November... I was 11 when this went down. It's very prominent in my mind to this day. I'm so sorry. I wish I could help you and your children because I know their fear and pain... But there's nothing I can give...

    I really hope everything turns out for the best. Prayers and thoughts for you dear...

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    1. Nyla, positive thoughts and prayers aren't "nothing". Your support, your prayers, those help, too.

      Thank you for sharing your story.

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  8. And Kelly, thanks for having this here. You're a rockstar :D

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    1. I am eternally thankful for all Kelly has done for me.

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  9. I've donated what I could. I wish I could help more. Thank you Kelly for helping this story to be told.

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  10. Kelly, I can never thank you enough for sharing this. For being willing to put this on your blog and sticking your neck out for me.

    It takes balls to ask for money, let alone for someone else, and especially when that someone has to remain anonymous.

    You are truly an amazing friend and a beautiful person.

    I thank you.

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  11. I've made a small donation I hope it will help. I don't drink coffee but if I did I think I could give up a cup or two of Starbucks to help out someone in need. So make a pot of coffee at home people and donate enougj for a cup of Starbucks. Even if it was a scam big deal you lost a cup of coffee. If it's not you helped save this woman's children, isn't that worth giving up a $3.00 cup of coffee?

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    1. Thank you for your donation.

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  12. Am sending what I can and happy to do it. Stay safe and hold those babies close! God Bless and I'll be praying for you.

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  13. Sent what I could. Sorry it's not more, keeping you and your children in my prayers.

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    1. Everything helps Sara, even your prayers, and I thank you.

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  14. Donated. Kelly, we trust you, and any friend of yours is a friend of ours. Sending hugs and prayers to your friend for a peaceful resolution. Thanks for being her angel.

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    1. Thank you Kathy, it is so very appreciated.

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  15. I hope my small donation will help you keep your children safe. I'm sure it couldn't have been easy to share your story and ask for help, but we mothers have to stick together and protect our kids. Sending hugs and prayers.

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    1. It's surprising what you're willing to do when you're backed into a corner and scared. Thank you for your help.

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  16. I donated and shared on my blog. Hugs and prayers to you and your children, and prayers for a change of attitude and a softening of heart for your abuser. Please keep us posted on your situation, and thank you for being so brave.

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    1. Thank you Amy ,I appreciate it so very much. I will keep Kelly updated so that she can keep you updated on the situation.

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