Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Writer's Workshop Wednesday ~ Starr from The Insomniac's Dream

Welcome to Writer's Workshop Wednesday!  This is my way of paying it forward to all the people out there who want to start writing, but don't have their own blogs yet, or who are established writers that are looking to appeal to a different audience.  I have also opened this up to those who would like to post anonymously about topics that are too difficult to write about publicly. Each week, I will host one or two posts by different writers.

I hope that you enjoy this series, I hope you find some new writers to follow, I hope this helps them out and I hope we can all learn something from them!

Up now, Starr from The Insomniac's Dream. She's one of the most talented writers I know, and it appears I caught her in the middle of an A to Z Challenge on her blog.  As I've come to expect from her, she put her own spin on it, and is writing the ABCs of swearing.  The letter of the day is G. G!  Ah, ah, ah (you have to say it like the Count from Sesame Street). She's hilarious and copiously uses the swears.  Enjoy.



Goat Fuckers (How I Lost My Birthday and Mother's Day)

Hello there Hive.  Is that what Kelly calls you?  Hive sounds goddamn fan-fucking-tastic. 

So, I'm that crazy broad who writes The Insomniac's Dream.  If you're wondering why in the good goddamn I curse so much, well I normally do.  But this month is special.  It's The ABC's of Swearing

So, she's crazy and she swears like a gaytastic sailor? 

I know, I know, you're in love already. 

Today I am here to whine like a baby complain like a bitch rant like a goat-fucker tell you how, every year, my birthday and Mother's Day go by seemingly without fanfare, lost in the shuffle that is Tiny Artist's birthday.

If you haven't read his story yet, go on, I'll wait.  Now, you see he was but a gimp's ass hair away from being born on both my birthday and Mother's Day.  While that would have been super duper neat-o, and I could have understood being forgotten for this goat turd (and I say that lovingly) . . . It did not happen that way.


Goddamn Screaming Goat Fuckers

The above goats express my rage well for me.

I am here to demand, DEMAND my two days back!

Okay, I'd settle for one day.  Just one day that is about me, my day of birth, a day to celebrate that I let children rip their way out of my stomach like Aliens.  One.  Goddamn.  Day.

One.

To not be lost in the frenzy of a young boy with his greedy eyes gleaming in prospect of cake, ice cream, goodies, and presents.

Then, matters got worse. Last year, we got two kittens.  Can you guess when their birthday is?

These gonad lickers (well, they're female so I suppose they're gooch lickers) just so happened to be born on the day between Tiny Artist and I's days of birth.

We all know that in the eyes of young boys, kittens are more important than Mom.

So this year, I'll be celebrating year one for the cats, year nine for the boy, and . . . We'll just skip my birthday and Mother's Day.

(Or go out to dinner and "pretend" it's for me, when it's all about Tiny Artist.  Same as every second weekend of May for the last nine years.  Gay.)

On a serious note, folks, I love my son.  He's not really a goat turd or even a goat fucker.  Sometimes an asshole, often a demon, but never a goat ass licker.

Happy Birthday Tiny Artist!

Happy Birthday Callie and Tortie!  I love my cats, but unfortunately they really do lick their gooches.

3 comments:

  1. Did you just use "gimp's ass hair" in a post?!? Bahahahahaha yet another reason you kick major...gooch?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Where to begin.... You do swear a lot. Like a gaytastic sailor, for sure. Really, that's all I have to say about that...

    ReplyDelete

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