Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Things That Piss Me Off Tuesday, part deux

Since I accidentally posted what I wrote for today last night, I've had over 12 hours to find new things to be pissed off about.

Is that a challenge?


My Phone
My phone is an asshole.  A lot.  Most of the time I love it and all the wonderful things it does, but it's a pain in my ass fairly frequently.  It doesn't like to be cold.  Or hot.  It likes to be at a constant temperature, preferably about 75.  Our house thermostat is set at 67, and that's too cold.

When the phone gets too cold, the screen flickers until it just stops displaying.  So then I have to breathe on it, sit on it or cram it somewhere warm (use your imagination, then get your minds out of the gutter for a second).  This phone refuses to believe it lives in Colorado, where the average high temperature in February hovers in the 40s.

OH!  And, my weather app likes to force me to learn new languages.  For a while, all my weather reports were in Chinese.  Today, they are in German.  Can't be Spanish, the other language I actually can read.  Nooooo, that would be too easy.

Everything in my house
We've lived in this house for almost eight years now.  With four kids, five different dogs, two different cats, too many parties to count and more vomit than you'd ever want to know about.  My floors are shot, and my carpet shampooer died a horrific death last year.  The kind of death so bad that you unplug it and hurl the smoking machine out the back door in a hurry.  The carpet is stained, ripped, has holes in it from dogs, edges shredded because of cats.  The wood floor is warped in places, and completely stripped of any protective finish in others.

The floors aren't the only thing though.  There are places where the base molding is just gone.  Missing.  Kicked off, run into, broken.  Everything needs repainted.  All the windows need re-caulked again.  The appliances are starting to go, not that I can say I blame them.  Six people demand a lot from dishwashers and washing machines.  The dishwasher has the glue equivalent of duct tape holding it together and my husband can take the washing machine apart in less than 3 minutes now.  The oven door is falling apart.  The microwave hasn't shut right in years. The drawers in the fridge are all cracked and the water line to the ice machine vibrates now.  I'm fairly certain it's not supposed to do that.

I'm pretty sure it's all going to die at the same time.

And a partridge in a pear tree.

Spammers and Robots
For whatever reason, I've had more spammers post crap on my Facebook page in the last week than I have the rest of the time I've run it combined.  I ignore them, delete whatever they post, report it and ban them for life, but it's chapping my ass.

The thing that makes me the most frustrated is that I can't do any of that from my phone, which is my FB tether most of the time.  I'm not on the computer all that often these days, but have to get on one to delete these jerks.

Facebook recently created a page manager app, which I was all excited about until I realized that it really wasn't any different than the regular Facebook app.  We should be able to deal with spammers remotely, but I'm sure the powers that be at FB are just trying to figure out a way to let us do it for a price.  Kinda like they will only show my posts there to 25% of my fans in general because I refuse to pay them to sponsor posts.

The spambot comments on my blog are getting more and more interesting as well.  Lots of sex toys ads....because apparently that's who I attract these days.

Holy hell, this website.  Sometimes I amaze myself with my behind-the-timesness, as I'm sure this site has been around for years and I just discovered it.

It's like Pinterest was for a few months after I found it....addicting.  I'm wanting to try and remember every single book I've ever read, which is seemingly impossible...then I want to read every book the site recommends based on my past history and interests.

Let's be honest, though.  I don't read.  Not nearly as much as I wish I did, anyway.  The last books I read were the Hunger Games series almost a year ago and 50 Shades of Grey, which was incredibly disappointing.  I wrote a review of that one, if you haven't seen it yet.  Just be warned, there are spoilers, and my review is far more entertaining than the book itself.

Now I want to go to the library and check out 16 books and sit and read them so I can check off more boxes on this damn website.

Except I owe the library $37 in late fees.

Don't ask.

The Harlem Shake
I seriously have nothing against this dance or fad or craze or whatever it is.  I just hate the fact that I don't understand it and it makes me feel old.  We went to a college basketball game last week and everyone under the age of 25 seemed to know WTF it is, we just sat there like the dinosaurs that we are.  Crazy kids.

Bring back something I understand.  Cotton Eyed Joe and I had a disagreement once because he's a real ass kicker, but I could go for a little Running Man any day.  Jesus, I am old.

If you don't know what the Harlem Shake is either, watch this.  Then explain it to me.


  1. Didn't know what is was, so I watched the video and STILL have not idea what it is. I'm thinking it's an excuse to shake your body parts close to someone else......or just in whatever direction you choose.


  2. Our dishwasher is screwed up and I'm *this close* to just washing everything by hand and putting the teenager in charge of that.

    I'm going to go read your review of 50 shades. I'm shocked you read that crap. My wife bought, read a chapter then our golden retriever, Buddy,chewed it up. I posted a picture of that on the book o face and it got like 90 likes.\

    anyway, hang in there, grumpy

    1. I ONLY read it so I could write a review of it. Pinky swear. I hadn't heard good things, and it was really like a train wreck. I had to power through the end....it was bad.

  3. Bad plumbing installation by the ex hosed (literally) my practically new dishwasher. (won't drain right.). I gave up. I grew up hand washing, I can continue to do so and likely save on the water bill.

  4. The best I can figure for the Harlem shake, is that things are all going normal, then everyone is instantly on acid (probably from laced stamps or something). Everyone flips sh*t and goes insane. I like to think everyone just gets arrested after the shoot. Also, There is a weird horse head mask involved 90% of the time.

    I want to own said mask... For research purposes, of course.



  5. My spammers think I write about vaginal dryness and itching.

    As for the crazy dance trend, I had no idea it was even a thing until 5 minutes ago. I don't understand it, but now at least I know it exists. Thanks for that. Why is someone always trying to freak a wall in the dance? Is that in the rules?

  6. I didn't even know people spammed Facebook. Oh man, so much to look forward to!

    The appliances...I hate ours too. I keep waiting for my oven to kick the bucket. The microwave overheats and stops working after about two minutes. Maybe we will get lucky and win the lottery I never play....


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