This will be my last post before Christmas. I still have a lot to get done, and am running out of time.
Isn't that always the story of the holidays?
The rushing, the worrying about getting it all done, the squeezing pennies until they bleed to make the magic happen?
Holidays are stressful.
Christmas is the worst.
And yet, when I tear up on Christmas morning drinking in the moment with my babies, it's somehow worth it.
I cry every year on Christmas. It's just part of who I am.
Last year, for me, was full of anger and frustration. Of questions unanswered, of wanting so desperately for things to be different.
My father was gone, my mother was lost, my husband was too, and Christmas still came. The kids, blissfully unaware of how much my heart hurt, opened their gifts and squealed with glee, and the tears that always fell changed from tears of anger and sadness to tears of joy.
Of being just there, in the moment.
If this last year hasn't taught me anything else, it's that.
We only have this, right now.
What happened before, we cannot change. We cannot fix. We cannot have back. The people who are gone, are gone forever. The moments of what if have passed. We can choose to sit in the past and stew and rage. We can stay there and ask why. We can hurt. Or we can accept.
Accept that the past is the past, and that all we truly have is right now.
Live in the moment.
Take it in.
Watch others find their joy.
Appreciate what you have.
Burn those images into your mind.
We get one shot at this life. One spin on the merry-go-round.
Do you want to be wondering when it will end, or why your stomach is queasy, or what that guy over there is doing or do you want to strap yourself to that horse, throw your hands in the air and ride?
Here's my wish for you all this year.
Join me on the couch Christmas morning.
Grab a cup of coffee and your camera.
Forget about the fight you had with your spouse a few days ago. Forget about the kids driving you insane. Forget about who is arguing about where to have dinner. Forget about the family drama queen. Forget about the disappointment you feel for the bad choices others have made. Forget about the laundry and the dirty dishes. Forget about it all.
Let it go, if not for good, at least for long enough to truly live in the moment.
Peace. Joy. Happy tears.
Some of My Most Popular Posts
Carrie Fisher died yesterday at the age of sixty years old, less than a week after suffering a heart attack on board a flight from London. ...
Grief. Before we even begin, let's just breathe for a moment. Can we? Inhale, drawing that breath all the way down, filling all the sp...
My sweet girl, Just after midnight, fourteen years ago today, I lost you. Everyone else was sleeping. I curled up on the bathroom floor ...
In case any of you might want the playlist I’m using tonight for work. All songs by artists/band members who died in 2016. And yes, some ar...
Philip Seymour Hoffman died yesterday. He was found with a needle still wedged into his arm, heroin believed to be the culprit. When I h...
Every year, the bloggers of the world get together and write reflective posts. It's a thing. I've done it. Some years I write abou...
This is my eighth annual Christmas list. Which is crazy. There's simply no way I have been doing this for that long. If you're so in...
I know, I know. I hate lists. I hate writing them, a lot of people hate reading them, but there is just something about the last week of D...
FOR THE LOVE PEOPLE. I haven't written one of these in a while, so brace yourselves. It's Not About The Emails... I was a Be...
I briefly thought I was maybe, possibly, probably, most definitely going to die yesterday. Twice. Fine. I'm being a bit dramatic, bu...