Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Things That Piss Me Off Tuesday

Mornings like this one

I clearly don't have the patience to deal with my kids on days that everyone oversleeps.  We established that straight away this morning.

My oldest forgot something for school, and I'm being the mean mom that makes him own his consequences.  I thought about driving it over there, but then I said no.  He needs to be more responsible.  It's middle school...I'm doing the right thing, right???

My youngest daughter decided that playing Connect 4 and fighting with her sister was waaaaaay more important than eating breakfast, so she took her bowl of cereal in the car and promptly spilled it. YES!!!!  There is simply nothing more awesome in the world than a car with the odor of rancid milk.

My older daughter screamed at me for a good ten minutes about how she has a field trip.  Tomorrow.  As if that has anything to do with today, with the fact that she was still very much in her pajamas and her hair looked like a lion's mane.  I can't wait until they hit puberty.

Then little boy "forgot" to put on a Pull-Up last night and peed all over his sister's bed. Which is awesome.

All before 9am.

I need more coffee.

Talent Shows

Before you all go thinking I'm not a fan of kids being brave enough to stand up on a stage in front of hundreds of people, I am.  I never had the balls to do it.

I just want to wear earplugs.  And have the show last less than an hour.

Both my girls want to be in it this year, both insisting that they need to sing their own songs.  Which would be fine if they both could remember words, carry a tune and actually practiced.  One does.  One doesn't.  And yet they both must do this.  One made through auditions fine, even got a laugh from the audience at the right times in the sarcastic song she is singing (she is my daughter).  The other apparently struggled with timing, the lyrics, the notes.  If she gets in to the show, it's already been preconditioned on having the other sister sing with her.

This angers her.  And I get it.  But not everyone can be good at everything, and that's okay.

Can you help a sister out?

Sigh.  I'm just hoping for the sake of family peace that they can find a way to work together on this, or I'm swearing off talent shows for the rest of forever.

....and I'm really hoping for some more interpretive dancing to Ke$ha songs.

You simply have not lived until you've seen interpretive dance of a Ke$ha song.

Middle School

It hasn't even been two months yet, and I've known kids who have been bullied.  Had rumors spread.  Had friends talking behind their backs.  There have been thefts and fights over girls.  Kids hurting one another.

Somehow, and I'm not about to question the cosmos on this one, my son has been peripheral to it at most.  He's avoided the worst of it.  I can only hope for his sake that it stays that way, but I know it won't.

Middle school sucks.  Can I get a witness???


I know, again with the allergies.  I spent most of Saturday feeling like complete crap after drinking Friday night.  I know what pushed me over the edge, and it was the red wine.

I realized at some point that I always get sick with red wine.  Like sick, sick.  Raging headaches, all kinds of gastrointestinal problems (I'll spare you the details).  I get flushed and itchy.
I'm gonna make you barf.  A lot.
Something like 1% of the population is allergic to the sulfites in red wine, but I found an article that says that number is really closer to 10% in asthmatics.   Which I am.  And which is also awesome.

I love red wine, but it doesn't love me.

Sad face.


Yeah, that Barney.  I survived three kids without needing to tolerate the giant annoying purple dinosaur, but this fourth one just freaking loves him.   He asks to watch it, sings the songs, does the little dances.

It's a good thing that my years and years of mothering have taught me to tune things out, or I'd be losing my mind right now.

I love you...You love me...We're a happy family.....


  1. Sorry, no sympathy from me, I've not only been through the Barney phase but I'm also a Blues Clues survivor. My kid would only wear grown pants, green striped shirt and boots, even to the beach. He banged into all our mirrors trying to go through. Suck it up and sing along...

  2. Middle School...I remember it well. What a nightmare!I hope your son gets out unscathed. Let's hope Wednesday is a little better. Maybe, at least, it will come with dry sheets...fingers crossed!

  3. Wow. Wow.

    And I can't help but sing along with Barney. Stockholm Syndrome.

  4. I'm so, so very sorry for you. Reading this post makes me want a drink, I can't imagine living it!


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