At the urging of my lovely friend over at You Know It Happens At You House Too, I'm playing along with this prompt.
Now, I probably am not doing this by the rules, but I have never been known for being a rule follower. Here is what I want you to do today. Sit down for five minutes. I know that is not always easy, but this could be the best five minutes you have spent on yourself in a really long time. Open your computer, grab a pen and a piece of paper (ACK! What is that???), open up an app on your phone. It doesn't matter what you use, just use something that you can save. This is NOT a mental exercise. You must put this on paper (either real or virtual) so that you can refer back to it on those bad days. Set a timer for five minutes and write. Write using the prompt I AM ______________________. Don't edit, don't proofread, don't change it. You are not required to share it with anyone, even though I hope you do, but keep it close by so that on those days when you are feeling really horrible about yourself (we all know that we have those days), you can look back and remember all the things that make you wonderful. I will start, here is my list;
I am a woman.
I am a mother.
I am a daughter, living in a world without her father.
I am a sister.
I am a wife.
I am a writer.
I AM a writer.
I am a photographer, finding my way back to this craft that I love.
I am a doula, and will forever be a doula even if the days between babies grow longer than I wish them to.
I am strong. I am a fighter. I am brave.
I am a good friend, often too good of a friend.
I am too quick to forgive some people, too slow to forgive others.
I am stubborn and proud.
I am lost sometimes.
I am taking a deep breath right now. I am trying my best to live in the moment. I am trying my best to forget the past, to wipe it from my memory. I am trying to pick up and go on.
I am going to go on.
I am scared sometimes of what that means. I am afraid to be vulnerable. I am afraid to trust again. I am not proud of myself for being afraid. I am trying to work through it.
I am trying to distract myself from what I am really thinking about almost all the time.
I am not always doing a very good job of it.
I am hurt but I will heal.
Who are you?
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