Monday, October 29, 2012

How not to be a role model

It seems that just about every adult that I know was at a Halloween party Saturday night.

I love me a good party.

Good parties include some or all of the following:

- too much alcohol

- early warning devices for when kids walk into the room

- too much alcohol

- costumes that are either scandalous on the merits or easily made to be (think wigs that get placed in inappropriate places, felt facial parts that can be relocated, the woman dressed as the Solo cup who told all the kids present that she was actually a trash can)

- too much alcohol

- friends touching each other inappropriately

- staying out too late

- too much alcohol

We even won the "Best in Show" award.  I'd like to take this moment to thank the Academy.

All was good.  Like really good.  Until about 6am when the barfing started.

In my infinite wisdom, I had plans yesterday morning.  I had to be bright eyed and bushy tailed and back in the damn costume at the freaking bowling alley for a girl scout event.  Because I'm a leader and a parent and a responsible and trustworthy adult.

Right.

In a bowling alley.  Full of strobe lights and music and screeching little girls.

It was the longest, loudest, possibly the most annoying two hours of my life.  It helped that just about every other adult there was dragging ass too.  Clearly not happy to be back in their costumes, bags under their eyes like mine, sipping their Coke's along the back wall in a desperate attempt to soothe the angry stomachs.

When they announced that there were only four minutes of bowling left, we rejoiced.  No one barfed.

High fives.  

I told the girls we would grab something to eat on the way home (still not sure I could keep it down), and we headed to Taco Bell.  Of all places.

Then the older one announced she had to pee.  Right now. 

For serious????

You mean, I have to walk into Taco Bell in my Wonder Woman costume???

What the hell?  Like being forced into a bowling alley while hanging isn't bad enough.

Oh yes, we went to the Bell.  Like a boss.  Had a complete stranger ask me where my Invisible Jet was parked.

He's lucky the girls were there, or my smart
ass tendencies would have shown themselves.
Hahahahahaha....you so funny.

We got home, I gagged down my food and went straight to bed.

All in all, the weekend was a wild success.

1 comment:

  1. Ah, to be hung over and a mom. The finer things in life!

    ReplyDelete

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