Sunday, October 21, 2012

As I attempt to maintain my sanity....

There's a lot going on.

More than normal.

First, I have to tell you all that I am completely overwhelmed by the love and support from everyone the last few days.  I cannot begin to tell you all how thankful I am.

I was hesitant to share what is happening, primarily because we don't really know yet what we are dealing with.  Hesitant also because I tend to catch grief from some people about over sharing in general.  Hesitant because as much as some people think I open myself up to the world too much, I know that there are a great many things I keep close - and this would be one of them if it were my choice.

It's not.

I have to tell people what is going on, not only for my sanity...but to keep my child safe.

This isn't the kind of situation that lends itself to hiding and secrecy.  For his health, people need to know.

So, here we are.

If it helps someone else down the road to read what it was like to go through this process, even better.

I'm grateful for so many things right now, and if it's okay, I'd like to share them with you.

I'm beyond amazed with this online world of people, almost none of which I've ever met.  It's a bit of a game, trying to figure out who belongs to which pages and blogs...but it's a game worth playing.  Through these connections, I've shared so many beautiful stories and experiences.  Just this last week, the 3rd Remembery of Donna's passing prompted a huge outpouring of support online.  Tripping While Standing Still offered to run a mile for each dollar donated in Donna's memory.  When the number approached $4000, she knew she was going to need some help running those miles.  Who's helping?  The online world, including me.  If you want to help, go here.

Ohmygosh you guys...did I just agree to run?

It's out there now.  No getting that back.

I'm grateful that I've opened up a little more with people here in real life.  Those who've known that something was off for a while, but didn't want to ask.  I'm trying to remember what it's like to trust people with pieces of me, the pieces I don't share publicly.  Walking out onto ice that has cracked before is scary, but as it turns out, the ice is thicker than I thought it was.  Thick enough to drag a few friends out there with me.  I love you guys.

I'm grateful that I've been doing this blogging and page administering and tweeting and code writing and image generating long enough to help other people just starting out.  I can't even begin to tell you how much it has helped me maintain my sanity at times when it would otherwise have departed my body.  I'm more than happy to help others do the same.

I'm grateful for the nurses and the doctors that I have come to know and love over the years. They genuinely care for my children, they make things work, they call me when I forget to let them know what is going on.  They track me down when they find out that I canceled my own appointment because of my son's situation just to give me a hug in the hallway and tell me that everything will be okay.  I love these people.

I'm grateful that Halloween is coming, because I need the distraction.  Even if I seem a little crazy chasing my son down as he tries to eat all the candy he can get his little hands on.  Even if it's really cold and my costume is not amenable to freezing temperatures.  (hint, hint)  Even if we are totally exhausted by the end of the coming weekend and it's parades and soccer games and parties and school events.  Even then, I'm going to just enjoy it.

And you guys.  I love you.  Smoooshy kisses.  xoxo

5 comments:

  1. Love you baby!! Lots of prayers coming your way. Mom

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  2. And you are loved back, even by people you don't know and could very well never meet. Your connections in the blogging world is BECAUSE you took the chance and opened yourself up. You're reaping the rewards of that now, and it's helping you so don't EVER again let someone criticise you for that, they're wrong.

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  3. I have been absent from blogging since my last post, and I totally missed your last update. I don't even know what to say, but I do want you to know that I am praying harder than ever for you!

    That being said, I have several friends who were diagnosed with Type I diabetes at really young ages (one was 18 months!), and they are all doing great. I know it doesn't make the possibility of that diagnosis any less awful, but if that turns out to be the case for your baby, I am hopeful that he'll have as much success managing it as they have.

    Good luck with everything, and know that I'm cheering for you. I can't wait to see your family's fabulous costumes.

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  4. And I love you right back. I know when I'm going through a rough few days, I always have a supportive comment from you waiting for me. You were the blogger that made me see what a supportive community it can be. I'm in your corner, by your side. Together we will all tackle this life!

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  5. Sending wishes for ease and peace your way!

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