Monday, September 24, 2012

When life hands you tomatoes...

This post is probably going to be super random today, so just try and do your best to follow me.  I haven't had enough coffee yet, and my to-do is is too-damn-long.

I have a Brownie meeting tomorrow.  I should totally plan something for that.  Like, before then.  Yeah, I'll get right on that.

I am hosting a jewelry party in 11 days, and my house looks like a bomb went off in it.  Everything needs cleaned, the carpet needs shampooed, the windows are scary and we actually have cobwebs.  Of course, I could completely just work those into my Halloween decor if I can get my shit together fast enough to decorate the house too before the party.

Consequently, I did the only rational thing to remedy the situation, and started painting.  Because that's so obviously the best way to spend my time.

This is what adult onset ADHD looks like, my friends.

Oooooh, shiny.

For reals though, everything in my house needs cleaned.  All of it.  I need to get my ass in gear.  And, clearly, I need to learn the primary lesson from this whole pneumonia/asthma ass kicking session.

I cannot get sick.  Ever.

In my infinite wisdom, I also scheduled a blood drive as the same day of the jewelry party.  Which means two things.

1) I'm demanding WAY too much attention from people twice in one day.

2) They'll get drunk faster and I won't have to buy as much wine.

Maybe I did plan that right after all.  Just maybe.

Shhh, it'll be our little secret.

I also wanted to share a little piece of random awesomeness about my life. I've written about my cat before.  Well, he's not my cat.  He freaking hates me, and I'm pretty sure he's just counting days until I die.

This little cat bastard has decided that it's his life goal to drive me completely insane.  He's torn up my couches, ripped up the carpet, shredded my screens and sheds every.where.  He hides in the bathroom doorways and attacks me when I walk past.  He bites my toes at night while I sleep.

He hates me and the feeling is mutual.

A few mornings ago, I woke up to a present.  He's an indoor cat, so his hunting opportunities are few and far between.  He'd be the cat that brings me disemboweled mice if he had the chance, I just know it.  But he can't.  So he's decided to do the next best thing.

He steals my tomatoes off the counter, carries them upstairs, then shreds the crap out of them.  Bites chunks out, peels the skin off with his claws.  Then he leaves them wherever he pleases when he's done destroying them.


Tomatoes.

WTF is wrong with this cat???

Glad he's not my animal.  He's clearly got issues.

Seriously, though, leave my damn tomatoes alone you little bastard!

5 comments:

  1. Tomatoes? That is seriously random. Mice make much more sense.

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  2. Cats are crazy beasts. That's all I can say. Good for you for having a blood drive and a jewelry party. Just dim the lights...nobody will notice the cobwebs! I hope it all goes as planned.

    I just joined your sight again because I'm not getting updates for your blog. Is it that RSS feed problem everyone has been talking about? I'm trying to keep up to date. Sorry I have been missing your posts!

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  3. We need to talk about your over-scheduling and affinity for cats. Life is so much simpler with naps and pet rocks.

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  4. Awe your kitty sounds hilarious. If my cats did that with tomatoes I would probably laugh my ass off, after my initial what the hell did I just step in wore off. I would try to video tape them in the act and put it on youtube. Then I would get it those soft paws to keep it from scratching everything in site and some feliway plug ins or spray to calm its ass down. Cats can be so freaking annoying sometimes. Sometimes I just want to throw mine out the window. But then they cuddle with me or do something really cute and all is forgiven.

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  5. This is awesome. Maybe not for you, but it's the best blog fodder. Hilarious. If your cat was a human, I think we'd be friends.

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