Friday, September 7, 2012

Things That Piss Me Off Tuesday - the "I'm really getting bad at this" edition

I suck.  Obviously.

A couple weeks in a row now that I've neglected my weekly rant.  I'm three days late this time, which makes sense if you know what kind of week I've had.

Which brings me to the first thing that pissed me off.

This Week
Yep, you read that right.  This whole week has just gotten under my skin and irritated the hell out of me.  I kid you not, I have been to at least one doctor's appointment for at least one person every day this week.  One involved an xray, one a biopsy, one an emergency referral to another doctor, one a blood test.  Then there was the holy shit you need to go to the emergency room right now crap that transpired yesterday.

Good times, y'all.  Good times.

I got to have a ton of blood work and an EKG and a CT scan.  When they think you have a blood clot in your lung, doctors start to kind of freak out a little.  I'm fine.  Mostly.  A little traumatized by the whole experience, but mostly just pissed off at why this happened.  I probably have a blood clotting disorder, thanks to the wonders of genetics.  And I'm old.  Which means I am certain to get yanked off my birth control pills today once the OBGYN catches wind of what is going on.

Which is just freaking fantastic.  I really wanted to evaluate birth control options.  Again.  It's my favorite.

That, and I also need to send a shout out to the makers of Augmentin.  Thanks for saving my life and all, getting rid of the pneumonia that was kicking my ass.  For reals, that's good.  Woot woot.

However, I'm really not a fan of all the hell my body is going through as a result of these nasty ass horse pills.  I'm sure that's how the medications work.  It's like a giant roto rooter for your digestive system, purging everything bad from your body, leaving you helpless and miserable, scanning every single building you're ever in for the nearest bathroom.  I have exorcised the demons.  Repeatedly.  (and yes, you have to say that in your Robin Williams voice)  Still, glad to be alive.  Whatevs.

After I got home from the hospital last night, my husband thanked me for not dying.

Turning Left
No, I'm not Derek Zoolander.  I can turn left.  It just takes forever sometimes.  You see, I came from SoCal, the land of the traffic signal.  There are lights at every intersection.  Like, even out in the middle of BFE, California, there are still traffic signals.  Here, in the wonderful land of Colorado, there aren't.

It's my fault.  We bought a house in this tiny subdivision on the edge of town.  We aren't far from one of the major highways that form a boundary for the city.  It's a two lane, undivided highway with a posted speed limit of 60mph.  Our access point, as you've probably guessed by now, has no signal.  Normally, it's not a big deal.

Except at 7:45am during the peak of rush hour when I have to turn left there to get my son and his friend to school.  Then it can take forever just to get out of the neighborhood.

It's good they have each other to stay occupied, those boys.  Them and their awkward middle school senses of humor.  Their bizarre inside jokes that are funny only to them.  Their goofiness.

Hey, I have a question for you!!!

What's the only thing worse than one boy playing his trumpet in an enclosed vehicle????

Yep, you guessed it.

Two boys playing trumpets in an enclosed vehicle. 

If you see me and wonder what the hell happened to me before 8am that could possibly wear me out that much???  Now you know.

Now you know.

Okay, so this is a broad sweeping statement and could encompass so many things.  Mostly though, I am thinking about my asshole neighbor.  The HOA prez.  The one I torture for fun.  The one who doesn't have kids.  Or a soul.

That asshole.

I have been spending time in another neighborhood lately, since my soccer practices are held there.  This neighborhood is nicer than mine.  Bigger houses, more expensive.  Everyone has a gardener and I'm pretty sure that no one who owns those houses cleans their own toilet.  This is how the other half lives, people.

In front of many houses in this nicer neighborhood???  Basketball hoops.

Where actual children are allowed to play in their own front yards.  Where physical activity is encouraged.  Where parents may actually play in pick up games with the neighbors and interact with one another.  And no one bitches about their property values dropping because there might be, gasp, evidence of small people nearby.

Neighbors of mine with kids got a hoop.  And a letter from the HOA.  Screw you, dickwad.

I'd convince more of my neighbors to go to the HOA meetings and vote to change the bylaws about this, but if there is one thing I am more resistant to attending in this entire world than a PTA meeting, it's an HOA meeting.


  1. I am glad you are getting better. I had pneumonia this year it is awful. Blood clotting is scary. I hope you are alright. Your last rant about the other half had me laughing. Have a better week.

    1. Thanks! I'm hanging in there....moms don't really have time to get sick. Lol


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