Sunday, August 26, 2012

First World Problems

I need coffee.

Every single day.

A few years ago, my son made some coffee.  He thought he was helping.  He tried.  Really, he did.

What ended up happening was nothing short of a magnificent mess, with coffee grounds and water and quasi-percolated coffee everywhere.  The counter, the floor, the side of the fridge.  Everything electrical in the maker shorted out, and it died a quick and ugly death.

I didn't get any coffee that morning, which was the real tragedy.

Fortunately, my brother in law had a spare coffee maker.  Hey guys, you can just have this one.  I don't use this anymore and you need one.  Isn't that great, he said?

Riding in like a caffeine induced superhero, he dropped it off the next day.  There was a theme song and everything.

It looks nice enough, right?
That was a few years ago now.

His coffeemaker still sits on my counter, getting used every day.

I figured out why he was so willing to pass it off to us, though, within the first day.  Why he was so eager to get rid of it.  The real reason he didn't use it.

It sucks.

There is no possible way to pour anything out of the carafe without spilling half of it.  My husband scolds me, that if I would just be more careful.  If I would just pour it nice and slow.  If I just had more patience...then I wouldn't be cleaning the counter every morning.

Who the fuck has patience to pour their coffee slowly and diligently?  Especially in the morning, before they have had their coffee?

Certainly not me.

I spill every day.  I mutter under my breath at this thing more often than I do at my children.

First world problems.  What are yours?


  1. Josh likes to watch Netflix on his smartphone. We were driving (I was behind the wheel) through rural KY a few weeks ago, out in the middle of BFE, and I actually heard him gripe about the fact that his movie took five seconds to load and wasn't streaming fast enough. ON A PHONE. In the middle of NOWHERE.

    Our coffee maker actually works really well. But I am a klutz so I spill a lot of coffee anyway.

  2. French press coffee...talks a little effort, but no other coffee tastes as good and it pours perfectly.


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