Thursday, June 21, 2012

Wanna see what 16 really overwhelmed people look like?

A few weeks ago we took the kids to the zoo to see the new elephant exhibit.  We have a tradition of always heading over to City Park for a picnic either before or after we go to the zoo.

The kids absolutely love this park, mostly because it's an old-school playground, full of all the fun things to climb on that no one installs in parks anymore.

Too dangerous, too high, too many splinters.

Too fun.

We really had no idea how good we had it when we were kids.
You know you did this.
Anyhow, we made our way over to the picnic table we claimed long ago and set up lunch.

One of the kids started oohing and aahing over a baby a few tables away.  I looked up to see them. All 16 of them, not counting babies.

Hipster moms and dads, complete with $500 strollers and matching diaper bags.

What was obviously a birthing class must have been having their first post-baby reunion.  Six very tiny newborns were there, along with two exceptionally pregnant women.

That has to suck.

Yay!  We scheduled this get together months ago, when we just assumed we wouldn't be huge and pregnant anymore!  Yes, I'm still pregnant.  Screw you all.

Those poor women, and all the advice the now-expert birthers were giving them about how to go into labor.  About how it was best to wait for it to all happen naturally, about their lovely home births or emergency c-sections.  I'm pretty sure the still-pregnant ones just wanted to tell all the rest of them off.

At some point shortly after realizing what was going on, I leaned over to my father in law and asked him if he knew what 16 very overwhelmed people looked like.

He laughed.

They were all completely overwhelmed.

Every time I see brand new parents I simultaneously want to go give them a hug and tell them to calm down, and wonder if I was that lost and clueless.

There was one dad who had no idea how to hold the baby.  At all. It was like watching someone try to catch a fish with their bare hands.

One that took a good 15 minutes to change one diaper.  On a dirty picnic bench.  With no pad underneath.  Give that one a second to sink in.

The couple that thought they knew what they were doing, as they put a baby less than a month old into a jogging stroller with an upright seat.  I had to sit on my hands with that one.

The mom talking about her planned, scheduled c-section for no reason other than fear of delivery, who wasn't nursing because it is gross.

The dad holding the week old baby girl, who was dressed in a tiny sundress even though the temperature was only in the high 60's.

The mom talking about sleep training her 2 week old.  As if.

These people had no clue what they were doing.

I know.

Been there, done that.

Fortunately for their parents, babies don't remember this shit.

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