Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Something borrowed? A moral question

I've spent a lot of time in the car in the last few days, driving back and forth from the hospital that the helicopter flew to.

I love driving alone.

Always have, probably always will.

I can crank up my music as loud as I want, I can work through all the stuff floating around in my head, I can have full blown arguments with the radio.

I did all of the above on my way home Monday.

A local radio show hosts a daily online debate between a couple.  He wants, she wants, the general listening public gets to pick sides.  Usually, I can sort of see both sides.  Not this time.

The girlfriend, a nanny, works for a very wealthy family.  The boyfriend has a job that involves a lot of fancy dinners and events.

The nanny girlfriend decided at some point that rather than get creative with her own wardrobe, accessorize, bargain shop, etc (like all the rest of us do), she'd just start borrowing stuff from the boss.  She's been taking formal dresses and jewelry as she pleases, using it for her own purposes, then returning it without ever asking permission from the woman she works for.

Nanny claims what she is doing is perfectly fine, no moral quandary.  This mother has an abundant wardrobe, most of which is never ever used.  She "won't miss it".  She has enough money to buy whatever she wants.  And, as far as nanny sees it, as long as everything is dry cleaned and returned without damage, no harm, no foul.

Boyfriend, upon realizing what she has been doing, told her that she needs top stop immediately and return everything she's ever taken.

Ironically, she is the one who called the show, assuming that people would line up on her side.  It's just clothing, after all, right?

Um, no.

She is an employee.  Not a friend or a sister.  Not someone that there is a level of borrowing expectations from.

Her job is to watch the children, not rummage through the belongings of the parents.

If she seems to think there is nothing wrong with using anything that belongs to someone else just because they aren't using it, how far does that logic extend?  What if the wife isn't using her husband, can she borrow him too?

I don't care if this woman has a closet the size of the Taj Mahal.  It's hers.  Her things.  Her clothing.  Her jewelry.  Her belongings.  She's the one who has worked to earn the money to purchase those things. Regardless of how or why she may not be using them at any given moment, it's irrelevant.
If this was my closet, I may have to
kill you for touching my shoes.
The nanny who called the show then proceeded to get into arguments with every person who called the show telling her how wrong she was.

She didn't see a thing wrong with it.

What is wrong with people who completely lack moral boundaries like this?

I don't see this as a shades of gray issue.  I don't see this as something you can justify or rationalize.  It's wrong.  Point blank.  Black and white.

Eventually, I had to change the station because I was so angry.

What do you think?  Am I just nuts?


  1. If she didn't think it was such a deal, why wouldn't she just ask the mother/boss if it was alright to borrow them?!

  2. Only because she knows that there's no way this woman would just hand over her wardrobe. LOL The crazy thing is that she totally knew she was wrong, but didn't care.

  3. Not crazy at all. I wouldn't want someone coming over to my house and taking what they want just because I'm not using it. I like my things. I may not have a lot of things, but I like them. Ask, fine. But don't take. She could get called on for theft, be fired, and be charged.


  4. Let the airlifted person know she and your whole family are in my prayers.

  5. I'm with Lisa. If she actually thought there was nothing wrong with her behavior, she would just ask her employer for permission. This is insane. People are freaks.


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