Friday, March 16, 2012

The post where I blow rainbows out my ass

You ever have one of those days where you just have to let stuff go and find something redeeming about the world?

I do.

All the time.

So, for today I'm going to blow rainbows out my ass. Sparkly ones. I'm going to gush positivity and ooze happiness.

Maybe I'm just stuck in rainbow hell.  Yeah, that's it.
I just made 100 of these.

For some reason, I thought that this would be a quicker and easier thing to make than the rainbow cupcakes were last year.

No. No. No.

The kids will love it, which is the point anyway.

Thing is, I've spent a lot of time blowing rainbows out my ass lately. Putting on the happy face and keeping calm and moving forward and all that crap.

Because that is what other people expect of me. Because that is what is required to keep life around here manageable and civil. Because my children need me to be steady and balanced. Because faking it is a hell of a lot better than sitting around pondering the reality of my life.

I was talking with a good friend last week (I think it was last week, but honestly who did it get to be March already, anyway?!?!), and we were commiserating about how messed up everything is. About how there really isn't much about the lives of most people our age that lines up perfectly with what they envisioned for themselves when they were younger. About how dysfunctional we all are in our own way, and about how little other people ever really know about it. About how we all go on, putting on the masks, blowing rainbows out of our asses, going through the motions. About how few people there are who did it all right, who got everything just the way they wanted, and about our personal theories that they are just hopped up on antidepressants because no one's life is really that great.
Why were we were all in such a hurry to grow up again?

I feel like this song is the background music of my life.

How did I get here?
I have no idea how I got here. But I'm here. And today, I going to be happy even if it kills me, dammit.

Be warned.

I'm spreading joy today, people.



  1. I could have written this is the reality of my life as well.

    Very well done on the rainbow kabobs. Beautiful!

  2. Just try to control those damn virtual hugs and heart emoticons. ;)


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