Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Gratitude

I've been meaning to write some thank you notes for a while now.  A long while.

I'm usually good about these things, but lately I've been more than a little bit scatterbrained.  It's not an excuse, just an explanation.

Through the course of events in the last few days, I've had to make a lot of choices in a hurry.  I've had to do things I never thought I would.  And I have had to bring someone home.  My father's ashes are here now.  Not forever, and maybe not for long, but for now.

I know that it sounds strange, but just having him here has been calming.  I slept soundly last night for the first time in what seems like forever.  He's still doing his best to tell me that everything is going to be okay.  And he's reminding me to take care of the things I've been putting off.  The things that he would want me to get done.

The thank you notes that are now almost eight months overdue.  The ones that I dreaded writing, but knew I had to.  Yesterday, the pen seemed to find it's way through the words without my help at all.

There are a handful of people who helped my father in ways that they need to know.  That I'm afraid they may not understand without me thanking them properly.  I hope that my words communicate that to them all.

Though there are many things this morning uncertain and unknown, I have been blessed.  My father was blessed.  And I am grateful.

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