Sunday, August 21, 2011

Somewhere

I haven't written much about my Dad here lately because I haven't really had much time to process things in regards to him.  Too much else going on.

In fact, a few weeks ago, the six month anniversary of the day he left this world came and went and I didn't even give it a passing mention here.

I was on the road back from my brother in law's wedding and almost completely distracted.  It's probably a good thing.

In some ways I think that all my distractions of late have been a blessing and a curse in this department.  A blessing in as much that I haven't been preoccupied with mourning his loss, but a curse in that I am just that much further from really dealing with it the way I probably need to.

I've been talking to him a lot lately, though there are times that it feels like he is too far away now to hear me.

Yesterday we were on one of the rural highways between our home and that of my in laws.   We were on the way to pick up the little people and go back to reality. The warm summer air surrounding us, the sun peeking through the sun roof.

I looked up to the sky, searched it briefly for a message, for a sign.  No heart shaped clouds waiting up there for me.

I fought back the first tears I've cried for him in almost two months, then the first notes played on the radio.  The unmistakable pluckings of the ukulele, the soulful hum of Iz.

And just like that, he was with me again.  At just about exactly the time I needed him.

Miss you, Dad.

2 comments:

  1. They have a way of reaching out to us when we need them most <3 and he's never too far away to hear you =)

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  2. I cannot imagine what you're going through, but I think about your dad almost every time I see your name in my Blog Scroll. Glad to hear your dad was there for you when you needed him. He always will be, you know.

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