Sunday, July 17, 2011

Do you see it?

I make complete strangers laugh sometimes.

Most of the time it's a direct result of the antics of my children.  Like the time that an 18 month old AJ turned around in the cart and started throwing things out of the basket.  Or the time that he yelled at me a few months ago to buy him diapers.  Because he needed more diapers!!!

Every so often, though, it's me.

I am way funnier than most people are prepared for.  They can't handle my funny, especially when it sneaks up on you when you are looking at bike helmets.

I had taken the kids to Target to subject myself to no less than one hour of whiny torture.  Wait, I mean that I went there to pick up an inflatable pool and some groceries.  Right....

I didn't intend to peruse the aisles of the non-grocery side of the store, but then I remembered that I needed to get a new pool since the old one was finally sent to it's final resting place after many applications of duct tape.

We walked through the sporting goods and toys, me insisting that we weren't there to look for anything but a pool.  Reigning in the kids as they'd start to drift off towards the aisles of Barbies and LEGOs, knowing that I needed a cart full of food and didn't have enough patience to be in the store for any longer than I absolutely needed to be.

Whining began.  I want this, I need this, I must have this!  No.  No.  No.  No.


Then they started to work the dollar section angle.  I even vetoed that.  They were getting a new pool. Maybe.  If they could manage to not drive me insane before I got the food, that was.

We found the boxes of blow-up pools and I threw one beneath the cart.   I then immediately proceeded to explain to the kids for the 1000th time that I was not buying them new goggles again, and that I didn't care if they were right there and that I didn't care if they lost theirs because I knew for a fact that there are at least 5 pairs of fully functional goggles in the house.  I hate goggles.

I can't be the only one, right?

Then I turned the corner, with my empty cart, save the pool, and rapidly dwindling patience.

Angels sang.


Suddenly, I was overcome with joy.  I wanted to skip and frolic in the aisles.

Me: Do you see it, Aidan, do you see it?

Aidan: See what, Mom?

Me: Aidan, it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen!  Isn't it beautiful?!?!?!

Aidan: I don't get it.  What are you looking at?

Me: School supplies!  They are putting out school supplies.  You get to go back to school soon!  All of you!  Even you, small child, even you (patting AJ on the head).

I said this all with quite the bit of exclamation, a smile that can only come from unbridled joy across my face.

Then I heard giggling and a snort.  Not from the kids, mind you.  They were annoyed by my joy.  But from a woman a few feet away, who'd obviously been witness to my joy.  And who clearly understood why I was so damn happy.

She was still laughing when I ran into her on the other side of the store.

Pencils and backpacks.....the first hints of school.

Ahhh, school.

I freaking love school.


  1. Well, you already know. I hate those frickin' goggles. Anyway, I LOVE that Staples commercial where the guy is cruising down the aisles on his cart and "It's the most wonderful time of the year" is playing in the background. And the kids are just looking at him like they want to kill him.

  2. Laughing hard right now! My two are just toddlers now, so I can't dump them at school quite yet. But I remember my mom coming home from the grocery store one July SINGING because she'd spent $100.00 on school supplies. I was not amused. And that Staples commercial is great!

    And I agree; goggles suck... I swam competitively for more than a decade, and I used to race without them. Pissed my coaches off, but I'd rather open my eyes underwater. Even in the ocean.

    When does school start in Colorado? Are you an early starter like we are in Kentucky? Or do you have to wait until after Labor Day?

  3. Middle of August....not that I am counting days or


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