Tuesday, June 7, 2011

30 Day Photography Challenge ~ Day 8

Day 8 - Something that means a lot to you.

The idea of this one is a tangible object that holds some significance to you.  There are times later in the challenge for a picture of who you love, a picture of your family.  This one is more about picking some thing you value.

I knew immediately what I would choose for today.

Then I realized that it's something I've deliberately not written about here yet.  For a reason.

It's on the short list, the very short list, of things I would grab as I headed out the door if I ever had a minute to leave.  When we were evacuated because of the fires in October 2003, it came with us.  It went to college with me.  Every time we have moved, it's gone with me in the car.  It doesn't get packed in a box.  Ever.

It's been broken for almost as long as I've had it, but that doesn't matter. 

I didn't write about this for a long time because I was afraid my father would read it.   Not that he was unaware of this item, and the place it has always held in my heart, because he was.  But because I didn't want him to dread what his own future would hold, or worry about how his own grandchildren would remember him. 

I never wanted to make things harder for him.  And he read everything I wrote.  So I didn't write about this.

Since he's been gone, I guess I just haven't thought about writing about this item.  Okay, that's not exactly true.  I have.  But it hurts.  It hurts because I know how I felt when I was a little girl and received this.  It hurts because even as young as I was, I knew that things would never be the same again. 

It hurts because I know that my children feel the same way right now, and will forever.

Things will never be the same without him here.  Their world is different now, just as mine was when my grandfather died.

I was given this clock shortly after my grandfather, my Pap, died.  I was 5.  He found it before he died and bought it for me.  I'm sure the plan was for him to give it to me for Christmas that year, but he never had the chance.

A heart attack got to him first. 

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