Thursday, May 26, 2011

The Angry Bulgarian

I went to FedEx to ship a package last week.  A big one.  A big giant one.

It takes me months of planning to do that, really.   I promise a friend that I will send her my girls' outgrown clothes, then it takes me at least two months to actually make good on the promise. 

I'm terribly bad at it for some reason.

But I was so proud of myself last week.  I had located a big giant box and crammed it full of stuff to send her.  I'd even taped it and addressed it in the same day.  Shocking, I know.

I loaded it up in the car to take it to FedEx, knowing that it was better for me to go alone.  AJ has this way of dismantling that particular store in 7.3 seconds, then opening at least two packages of candy, which I then am obligated to purchase. 

Kids.

So I went alone, which was a good thing.  If I'd had the kids with me, it would not have been fun.  I would have had to drag the box back to the car and wait even longer to ship it.

No way could I have waited as long as I did with the kids.  No way. 

I walked in, lugging the giant box, to find a couple waiting at the desk with two boxes to ship.  No big deal, right?  It only takes a few minutes per box. And honestly, I didn't care because I didn't have any small humans to supervise.  I can wait.  All good.

Then I heard her.  That voice.  The whining.  The complaining.  The accent.  Even not being able to clearly understand everything she was saying, it was obvious that she was bitching.

The angry Bulgarian.

Behind the counter, one employee.

The lady waiting ahead of me sighed audibly.  We exchanged the mutual look of gosh, she is a pain in the ass!

I was immediately reminded why working in retail sucks ass.

Turns out that the heavily accented whiner had been there a while.  How long, I don't know.  I walked in just as it got good though.  When she'd been given the price to pack and ship all her boxes. 

Over $3200.

Holy crap!

My jaw must have hit the floor because the lady ahead of me giggled.  She'd been there longer than I had and knew how much this whiner was intending to spend to ship her stuff. 

You'd have thought she was shipping something really heavy or expensive.  I guess she'd make that argument, being as she was the one who created the masterpieces.  She was shipping her art (that she'd made) home to Bulgaria.  I use the term art loosely.

She condensed it in a few less boxes, then started whining about how Fedex was charging $20 a box to pack it. Ummm....you are spending over $800 per box to ship it.  I'd err on the side of caution and let them pack it in case something breaks. 

Before she was done, one of the pieces she'd grabbed from the employee's hand broke.  Totally the crazy lady's fault.  Then she wanted to know what FedEx was going to do about it.  How was she going to get her money back for the damage?  Where was the manager?  Could she talk to someone right now?  What is the international claim number?  The poor employee.  I felt really bad for her.  There wasn't much I could do to help her though.

And mostly I just wanted to pay for my box and leave. 

Finally, overwhelmed and sensing that we'd been kept waiting far too long because of this one person's ridiculous demands, she told the angry Bulgarian she had to help the other people waiting.  First she helped the lady in front of me.  Then she took my box. 

I couldn't help but actually laugh out loud when she rang up my total. $23. 

I gladly paid, then wished the angry Bulgarian a nice day as I walked out the door.  And I laughed all the way to the car.

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