Thursday, May 19, 2011

30 Days of Music - Day 30

Day 30 - What was your favorite song at this time last year?

See, now I knew this challenge was going to suck. 

A year ago, I heard this song for the first time in the car and immediately related to it.  I found myself doing what it says too many times to count. 

Except that none of the wishes I made on airplanes were granted. 

I try very hard to not be angry about losing my father.  I do.  I know that with time, he came to a place of peace and acceptance with what was happening.  He had time to say his goodbyes and tie up his loose ends.  He had time to sit and talk with each of his siblings. 

If there is such a thing as dying well, he did it. 

But I'm still angry.  I want him back.  I want him healthy.  I want him to see his grandchildren grow up.  I want him here, even if just to meet the next one.

I struggle with feeling sorry for people who are just now losing grandparents and older.  Mourning the loss of someone who went peacefully at 90 years old just seems inconsistent.  They had their long life.  That isn't something that should be mourned, really.  It should be celebrated.

It's those who go too soon that we should mourn.  The ones that could have used a wish.  

I know I made more than a few that never came true.

I do love this song, I probably always will.  Still, it hurts to hear.  A reminder of what I couldn't do to help him.

This is a fitting way for this challenge to end.  I miss you, Daddy.

Airplanes, B.o.B. feat. Hayley Williams

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