Thursday, February 10, 2011

Dear Dad,

Tomorrow the sun will rise on the first day of my fatherless life.

You died today, on a beautiful Thursday morning. 

The sun was shining, it wasn't the middle of the night like you had dreaded it would be.

Fearing that you would be alone at the end, you weren't.  Gary and I were on one side, Mom on the other. 

The last sounds you heard were probably the giggles of the grandson you weren't sure you'd ever get to meet.

You had steak and potatoes for dinner.  Last night.

For a few minutes yesterday, you came outside, sat in a chair, bathed in the glow of the afternoon sun and were able to just be.

You had all the intentions in the world to still go in to work today.

You somehow managed to tell Mom you loved her one last time.

You fought harder than anyone ever would have asked, you believed longer than conventional wisdom dictated, you inspired all of us to keep going until you could go no more.

As you began to turn the corner last night, the winds picked up.  They blew with fury all morning.  As your earthly body left the house today, the winds calmed.

They'd done what they came here to do.  They took you.

It's strange to be sitting here in exactly the same place I was last night, just 24 hours ago with no idea what the next morning would bring. 

I had no idea you'd be gone now.  Soon, sure.  But not today.

24 hours ago, you were polishing off a bowl of peanut butter cups.  Now, you are the guardian angel you'd promised you would be.  Who knew?

You relished every moment when you needed to, you went quickly when it was time. 

Thank you for being the most amazing father I could have ever asked for.

Your fight is done, Daddy.  It's time to rest.  I love you.

Forever your little girl,

Kelly

9 comments:

  1. Dear Friend,
    I sit hear reading your words with tears coming down as I want to share all of the strength that I can muster and pass it to you. I am so sorry to hear of your loss of your father. I want you to know that I am here for you and your family. I know what it is like to be a daughter and to now have a daughter and I know you know that your dad knows the incredible woman he raised. Sending you love, hugs, condolences and admiration for finding the strength, courage and acceptance that your words clearly show. With all my love and with sadness for your loss, Shannon

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  2. Kelly, thanks for sharing. I loved the way you put my feelings into words. This will be my first Father's Day without my father. I try to stay in the wonderful memories but sometimes the sorrow needs to surface. I cried as I read your words. Thanks again, Dianne

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  3. Okay I have to say this....I lost my Dad on a Tuesday (July 20th, 1989) and I can still remember the moment when I knew (even before I knew) for you see it was pouring down raining and thunder at 2:30 in the morning. I was 12 years old and I can remember feeling like my life was forever changed.

    It's amazing the things we remember about your father's...Your post made me think of how mine use to hug me and tell me I was beautiful...Thank you for that!

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  4. Whoa Kelly, your post blew me away. What a powerful writer. A few well placed words brought so many images and feelings..I cried.

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  5. Sobbing over here! You are such an eloquent writer!
    It has been 11 years since I lost my parents. I still can't articulate the emotions and feelings I had/have like you did that day! You have a gift my dear! Your father is smiling and lives within you always! Damn it! now i need a kleenex!

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  6. My life will never be the same. I was BLESSED to be married to your Dad for 34 years and in Love with him for 42 and forever. While I know not what the future holds, I will A;WAYS LOVE YOUR DAD = no one could ever take his place. I love you, your brother and all my grandkids with all my heart and will try to be the kind of person, Dad knew I was. Forever and for Always, Mom

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