Friday, January 28, 2011

Grasshopper

A few months ago, my doctor decided to take me off my blood pressure medications.  I'm borderline hypertensive, and he seemed to think that with diet, exercise and stress reduction, I could control it just fine.

I told him that was a monumentally bad idea.

This, of course, was the same day that he ignored everything I'd said about how those things hadn't worked in the past and that my life was more stressful right now than it ever had been. 

His solution, reduce the stress in my life.

Like that is even remotely possible.

I tried to describe to him the things happening in my world and he just replied that I would be okay.

And I will, I know that.

But knowing that I will be okay does nothing to reduce stress.  Nothing at all.

Stress can do some terrible things to my body anyway, it always has.  Back when I was planning my wedding, I had it show up in two forms.  Full body hives that came and went for months and IBS.  Ah, those were good times.  My poor roommate used to laugh at me perched on the couch in odd grasshopper-like positions trying to scratch the itches that covered me then.

Law school brought TMJ and carpal tunnel.  Also fun, I must say.

All these bizarre physical reactions eventually disappeared of course.  Once the stress had passed, I went back to my normal self.  Whatever normal is. 

And now the most stress I've ever dealt with surrounds me.  I put myself back on my blood pressure medication last month when I knew I needed it.  Regardless of what my doctor thinks is possible.

The hives are back too, but now I can't chance taking the medication that would help with the itching.  It knocks me out for four hours at a time. 

We meet again, grasshopper.

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