Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Faking It

I can't tell you how many people have asked me how I manage to keep it together lately. 

My answer is always the same.  I don't really know.  I guess that in large part, it's just a maternal autopilot sensor on me that hasn't yet ceased working.

Sure, there are times that I want to withdraw from everything, curl up in a ball and cry all day.  But I can't. 

My kids are keeping me here.  My kids are making me go through the motions of all the pieces of my life that would have long been discarded without them.  My kids make me fake it.

Do I really care about 99% of the things I should right now?  Nope.

But I'll fake it. 

I'll fake it for them.

And when they are gone off at school and in dreamland during nap time, I will curl up in a ball and cry.

1 comment:

  1. You make me cry, I feel what you're saying 110%.

    You know, I would describe us as "Maternal Rocks". Without kids, we can fall apart and it's considered "falling apart". With kids, it's "all hell is breaking loose..the sky is falling".
    The fairness of it all. I'm glad you have your 'in a ball' time. :) LOTS of xoxoxoxoxoxoxo, and if you find the means for more ball time, I highly recommend not developing a gambling addiction. For some reason, a lot of moms and dads turn to that here.
    ;)....and don't laugh that never helps ;) ;)

    <3 you


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