Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Why Santa Claus is a Woman

I decided this last night.

It's a lie, all of it. 

I think Santa Claus is really a woman. 

Would a guy have designed this hat?

I mean, really....once you look at it the way I did last night there can't be any other possible option.

Santa Claus knows what is sitting beneath the tree for all the kids on the good list.  Actually knows. Like, before Christmas morning.

Santa Claus has never forgotten Christmas.

Santa Claus will let kids sit on her lap

Santa Claus can get everything done while everyone else is sleeping.

Santa Claus has a predetermined route, all planned out and everything.

Santa Claus is the one driving the sleigh.

Santa Claus gets children the things they actually want, as opposed to what is on sale, what is easy to find or what they need.

Santa Claus knows the sizes the kids wear.

Santa Claus will stay up all night making sure the gifts are wrapped.

Santa Claus knows that you have to wear a black belt if you're rocking the black boots.

Santa Claus won't hesitate to sneak a bite off the plate a kid left.

Santa Claus has a pair of fat pants...this might be related to that last one.

I'm sure that there are more reasons that Santa Claus is a woman....I just can't think of any more right now.

Much like Santa Claus, I've got a million things to get done in the next few days.


  1. I agree :-) BTW, the hat is taken from what the bishop, Saint Nicholas wore. It was a BIT altered. I'm sure you already knew all that :-)


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