Sunday, December 19, 2010

The Necessity of Laughter

After yesterday's post, I am sure that there are people out there who think I am nuts.  Maybe I am.  At this point, I probably am not in the best position to be judging that anyway.  

Truth is, there isn't much in my life that is funny right now.  Being a grown up sucks.  Feeling like the weight of the world is always on my shoulders, like no matter how hard I try, I can't make things right. 

I want to go back in time.

I envy my kids a little for that.  They are still there, in that place I long to return to.  They still think that Santa can magically bring them anything they want.  They still believe that their parents are invincible.  They've never had reason to think otherwise.  They are innocent and happy.  Life is still fun.

If only it were possible to recapture that. 

So, yes, life gets complicated.  That old adage about life not being fair....well, it's spot on.  These days, I find myself desperately clinging to the humor in life to survive.

I know that some people probably don't understand me.  To them, all I can say is that I have to do what I have to do sometimes just to get through the day.  I'd rather it be laughter than any of the other crutches I could turn to. 

I've been asked too many times this week how I am managing.  Partially, I really do think I am just on autopilot.  I do what I have to do because I need to do it. Period. I have too many little people relying on me for things, and as much as life is disappointing me right now, I want to protect them from all that.  I do what I need to for them.   The rest of my day to day survival can be attributed in large part to laughing. 

I laugh because if I don't, I will cry. 

If we lose the ability to laugh, no matter what else is going on, we begin to take ourselves far too seriously.  We start to resent the reality when what we really need to do is embrace the opportunity.

Sometimes that means you have to find ridiculous humor in things that shouldn't be funny.  Sometimes that means you have to be willing to laugh at yourself.  Sometimes it means you smile when your heart is breaking. 

As I've said to at least one friend before, you only get one trip around the might as well enjoy it.    Don't spend all your time regretting not getting on a different horse.  Don't think about what you left behind, the things that couldn't make the trip with you.  Don't live in woeful anticipation of the ride coming to an end.  Enjoy it while it lasts.  Let yourself ride.

My Dad, sticking his tongue out at me.
Throw your hands in the air, let the wind whip your hair around, and just ride. 

Just ride.

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
~e.e. cummings

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