Sunday, December 5, 2010

30 Days of Truth, Day 3

Day 3 - What is something you have to forgive yourself for?

This is one that I could write volumes about.  Blame it on Catholic guilt or whatever, but there are a lot of things I should forgive myself for.  Things that I carry around with me.  Mistakes I have made.  Words I have said that I wish I could take back.  Things I have done.  People I have hurt.

To narrow it down to just one?  Damn.  That's a challenge.

It's a good thing I only need to write one of these a day....they are hard.

 Here goes. 

I once broke the heart of my best friend.  We were dating at the time, and I dumped him because my other friends didn't think we should be together.  I threw him under the bus for the sake of my delusions about the relationships I had with the other people at the time.  No real reason other than sad selfishness.   Back then I was a confused teenager with a complicated life and a gross misperception of the people around me.  Not a good combination, and one that led to me hurting far too many people when I was in that place. 

I have always regretted what I did to him more than anyone else though.  It took years for me to tell him how sorry I was.  I knew I was wrong the instant it happened.  But you don't get to go back in time and fix even the most obvious of mistakes.  I'm not sure that he ever forgave me, and I'm not sure that I deserve his forgiveness.  I need to forgive myself for doing it, but that is easier said than done. 

No comments:

Post a Comment

Some of My Most Popular Posts