Monday, September 20, 2010

Might

Inspired by and borrowing from a comedic genius...

If you've spent more money on one tiny pair of shoes than all the clothes you are wearing right now, you might be a mom.

If you've successfully negotiated a hostage release from a bathroom, you might be a mom.

If you've walked out of the house knowing you had spit-up, snot or slobber on your shoulder, you might be a mom.

If you've chosen your outfit based on whether you could whip your boob out of it inconspicuously, you might be a mom.

If you've responded to a question with the answer just because, you might be a mom.

If you've injured yourself chasing a child, you might be a mom.

If you've bought Magic Erasers in bulk, you might be a mom.

If you've realized that you can't understand the new math or lamented that Pluto should still be a planet, you might be a mom.

If you've been up half the night baking cupcakes, you might be a mom.

If you've woken up at 4am the day after Thanksgiving so you could get all your Christmas shopping at once, you might be a mom.

If you've driven around for an hour when you had nowhere to go because someone was asleep, you might be a mom.

If you've mopped your floor at 11pm just so it could stay clean for a few hours, you might be a mom.

If you've screamed at a child at the same time you were hugging them, you might be a mom.

If you've eaten cold macaroni and cheese off a plate that didn't belong to you, you might be a mom.

If you've hidden candy in your own house, you might be a mom.

If you've uttered the phrase "when your father comes home...", you might be a mom.

If you've spent more money to go see dancing stuffed animals on stage than you did on your last real date, you might be a mom.

If you've road tested furniture before buying it, you might be a mom.

If you've actually licked your hand to clean someone's face, you might be a mom.

If you've cried watching a baby take their first steps, you probably are a mom.

And if you've stayed up all night long watching someone else breathe, you are a mom.

Thanks to Jeff Foxworthy for the inspiration, thanks to my kids for reminding me every day to find humor in the chaos, and thanks to all the moms I've known. Your stories, our stories, they are worth telling. Thank you for sharing them with me.

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