Thursday, July 29, 2010

Form

Life isn't so much about what you say as how you say it. Or what you are doing when you say it.

For instance, when you ask how someone is, but then are so wrapped up in your own thoughts that you stop listening as they are telling you...perhaps you never really cared how they were in the first place.

Or when you are giving your undivided attention to your cell phone, ignoring the living, breathing human beings around you after you'd told them just a sec, I have to take this.

Or when someone offers to help with something, except when it comes to the details they are suddenly too busy or preoccupied or scatterbrained to be of any use. That's not exactly helping.

Truth is that the vast majority of people don't really care how you are. Or if you need them to be present and engaged in the now. They are all too wrapped up in themselves. Too busy, with whatever else.

And just food for thought...when you say sorry to someone, it should never, ever be phrased as a question. Either you don't know what you are sorry for, aren't sure that you should be, or are just saying it because you think the other person wants you to. Clearly, you don't mean it.

So just don't bother.

5 comments:

  1. Amen. Thank you. I hate when people ask, "How are you?" (like what you said above) Most of them are just saying hello. Ughh! I never ask someone that question unless I mean it. We all need to think more about WHAT we are saying, less of ourselves and more of others. It would really change our world.

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  2. Where's the affect in this world? Yesterday driving home from my therapist, drained from crying about how my 12 year-old sadness was ignored, I thought of you Kelly. I thought, "soon as I get home I am going to randomly write on her wall. I'm going to write how inspirational she is to me. I would write if I was half the mother she is I would be the real Gretchen and love getting to know her. I would confess you will always be an influence on me."
    Then I arrived home. I was greeted by my family and I took in that moment of peace where no one was mad at me, and I enjoyed it. Then..this happened, then THAT happened then..I never wrote these words to your wall. They were already true, already in my head, they just needed to be let out. Not for something in return. I didn't need anything in return. I am telling you now, because you need to know.
    Word-wise, that's all I can offer. I offer it when it's the truth, when I am able emotionally and physically. It may not help anything. The only thing that will help is time. Just wanted you to know.

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  3. G~ you are an amazing mother and an amazing person....don't let anything or anyone ever let you believe any different. <3

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  4. Thank you. Coming from you...thank you!

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