Monday, June 14, 2010

Cop

Monday. I think that about sums it up, right?

Even if you are like me, a stay at home mom with nowhere you need to be since school is out for the summer....Monday is still Monday. Monday, Monday.....

Secretly though, I find myself looking forward to Monday. Especially on Sunday afternoon. Anyone with enough kids and a husband like mine will understand exactly what I mean. I know some of you do.

During the week, I am the supreme leader. My way or the highway. I tell the kids that if they make a mess, we won't go anywhere or do anything until it's cleaned up. No one sits around in their pajamas until 3pm. Stuff gets picked up. Dishes get washed.

Weekends are different. I figured out why.

It's because even though the Tom is supposed to be the one to rule with strong words and strict enforcement and consequences, that's not the case. The kids still haven't figured this out. They think he is the bad cop. That he's the enforcer. Nope.

Clearly I am.

He is the fun parent. The one who throws rules out the window. He is the one who lets them play videogames in their pajamas and make a mess. He will still take them out for bike rides, feed them ice cream and go to the park. Even if they are bad.

Yesterday he taught the girls how to slide down the stairs with cardboard boxes.

I've given up cleaning on the weekends. It is just not worth the energy. The other parent is always distracting the kids from what they are supposed to be doing with some new fun adventure.

I wait until Monday. When I once again reign supreme. When what I say is the law of the land. When I can justify cleaning the floor because I know it just might stay that way for a few minutes. When I can pick up the toys and make the kids help. When I alone have the power to decide when the videogames and tv get turned off. When I can dictate what the requirements are for doing anything fun.

I can be the good cop too, but someone's gotta be the bad one. And that someone isn't who the kids think it is.

This bad cop takes the weekends off.

It's Monday. The good cop is back at work and I've got a house to clean.

1 comment:

  1. Ugh! I love your perspectives, actually what I mean is I love learning your perspectives. The good cop/bad cop would most DEFINITELY apply if the two aren't exactly on the same parenting page, as is the case with many parents. I honestly think, selfish or not, that was one of the reasons I could not stay with M's "dad". He himself would sit in his pajamas and play video games...for 8 hours. Not a good example and I knew it. Oh, and that WAS an example. Our relationship's dynamic had, and still does, much more to it than video games. I feel sorry for his new family. Anyway,from a single mother's point of view I understand on a level that isn't much different than that of a co- parent...except...I am both. I am both good cop and bad cop. I have to trust my gut when to use which, where and why. Constantly judged by my mother, who isn't a co-parent, she's a Grandparent, her grimaces often contribute to a harsher reaction than I myself would have chosen. That is most likely good, but it raises my blood pressure and rage inside ensues, which is bad. Here's my point, if I have one. They say it takes a village to raise a child for a reason. It's not why anyone who couldn't know thinks. It's not just about help with child sitting, or support or even financial help. Children need a huge amount of differences in their lives. Differences of opinion so they can form their own, differences of appearance so they don't feel abnormal, differences of relationships ruling a moment or several moments of their lives. Parents, Grandparents, absent parents, Teachers, Coaches, bad kids, good kids, family. Wow! All they take in as kids! Individually, we try our best for a child in our life. I'd like to think they all do. It's the 'end' result, which really is the beginning result, that a parent or guide or mentor truly wants when deciding how each moment is handled with a child. It's quick, it's fleeting, it's gut, it's training, it's playful, it's responsible, it's logical, it's rational and it's different. That's how the world will be when we spit them out into it, right? No. That's how we want them to be. :)

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