Sunday, May 9, 2010

Mama

My life is crazy. It's chaotic and hectic and harried and hurried. My needs are always pushed to the back burner. Someone else always needs something more. It's just how it is.

I haven't been on a real vacation in over a decade. I drive a, gulp, minivan. A dirty minivan. I routinely spend more money on my oldest child's shoes than my entire wardrobe. I choose earrings that can be ripped out by grabby toddlers without hurting my ears. I live in a ponytail most days because my hair is fun to pull too.

I've spent an insane amount of time figuring out activities that interest all the kids. I drive back and forth and drop off and pick up all the time. I have eaten left over macaroni and cheese more times than I care to count.

I've abandoned my career aspirations, let go of my prior life. I've gone from Kelly to Aidan's mom. Ashley's mom. Ally's mom. Soon, I'll be referred to as AJ's mom too.

I've learned to remove just about any stain from any item. I've swept the same floor five times in one day. I've done over 10 loads of laundry at a time.

I've called Children's Hospital at 2am. I've carried a child into an operating room. I've shielded my babies from hail, trying to outrun a tornado. I've sat and held the hand of a fragile and sick baby boy. I've lost a child.

I've been so happy I've cried tears of joy. I've been too scared to even realize how afraid I was. I've been overcome with sadness when my babies were hurt by those they trusted.

I've been a mom, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there. Whether your babies are grown, whether they are home with you now, or whether they have left this world, they are life's greatest gift. They are what make us who we are.

I am blessed to have been the mother of five. I am blessed.

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