Monday, October 26, 2009

Pondering

I am currently pondering many things on this Monday morning. Not all good, not all bad. Not all are things I wish to ponder. Some I have no choice but to.

I am trying to devise a more efficient way to do laundry. I loathe doing it every single day, but if I wait more than two or three days, I have mountains and mountains of it. As I write this, there is a pile spilling out into the family room. Last week was busier than usual, and I have a lot of catching up to do. Before it takes over then entire downstairs, anyway.

I am trying to figure out how to finish the last of the greatest Halloween costumes of all time. I think I know how I am going to do it, now I am just hoping that it works. We'll see.

I am debating whether AJ needs to go back to the doctor. He had the flu and has been coughing for weeks. But it's not just a dry hacking cough, it's got gusto. A little more than I like. I wish he would just get better. Then I wouldn't have to be worrying so much all the time about the little guy. If it wasn't for the fact that he loves to smear me with snot and pull my hair almost constantly, I'd be more concerned. But he's acting exactly the way that a gross 14 month old boy should. So, I'm not too worried.

I can't help but sit and think about what I was doing exactly 10 years ago today. I was sitting in a waiting room, my husband's ring on my necklace, feeling all too suddenly grown-up and vulnerable. Cancer had invaded my life, and from that point forward things would never be the same.

And I can't help but sit here and wait again today. I am trying so desperately to keep myself busy, to stay occupied with other things. It's all I can do to not worry about that which I cannot control.

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