Friday, September 4, 2009


So I have this friend. Maybe you have one like her. She is someone that reads this almost every day, and someone that I gave ample warning to. She knows I am writing this. The names have been changed to protect the innocent, so to speak. You know who you are. ;)

One of the hardest things for me to deal with when it came to moving here was leaving some fantastic friends behind. I don't make friends easily. I make acquaintances pretty quickly, but real friends take longer. And it's more rare. It was a hard thing for me to leave them. To leave her.

We met many years ago, when Aidan was only just barely two years old. Ashley was just a baby. It was just chance that we both stayed a little later one morning after taking the boys to a class and found one another. We became very good friends with time, and have seen sides of each other that other people rarely get to see. I was fortunate that she allowed me to help her when she gave birth to her second child. Being a doula is a blessing, but it's even more special when it's friend.

A year after we left, we went back for a visit. And I saw her, at about the time in both of our lives where the bottom had dropped out. Or at least it seemed that way. And though we hadn't seen each other in a year, had talked only a few times, we shared. We laughed. We cried. And we talked. We talked about everything. The good, the bad and yes, the ugly. No judgment, no questions, no hesitation. Acceptance. Love. Sympathy. Understanding.

After that trip, we sort of lost contact entirely. Over time, the phone calls lessened. The emails became nonexistent. We were down to the obligatory holiday card communication. No more, no less. Until one day, back in December of last year.

We reconnected through that infamous social networking site, Facebook. I'm not sure who found who. I'd have to venture a guess that she found me, since I am pretty sure she was on there before I was. I was reluctant to get on Facebook. I didn't want another thing I felt like I had to do. There were people from my past that I wondered about certainly, but many I was fine with leaving in the past.

Tom actually got on there before I did. And then I gave in. And within less than a week, we had found one another, this friend and I. And though we had hardly spoken in years, it was almost like nothing had happened. It was like we were right back together. Though our children had aged, our lives had changed, our situations were different, and we had both undergone some serious personal trials and tribulations, it was as though none of that mattered. We picked right back up where we left off.

I think it says something about our friendship that we can be this way with one another. She knows more about me than most people ever will. I can tell her, truthfully, anything. And I hope that she feels the same way. I'm pretty sure she does. There is no pretense with us. No being ashamed. No hiding the things that make us cringe with discomfort. We lean on one another. And we laugh. God, do we laugh.

In our lives, we are blessed with only a handful of people like this. People like her. Not many, and not often. But when you find them, you keep them. Sometimes you have to tuck them away for a while, out of sight and out of mind. But never out of heart. And it's so incredibly comforting to know that they will always, always be there. Anytime. And that when you find one another again, things will be the same. Things will always be the same.

True friendship is rare. Treasure it. That would make an awesome t-shirt, don't you think?


  1. This post is so sweet, and I have a best friend just like that. It doesn't matter how long you've been apart it's okay. Speaking of friends...I have a friend in my playgroup w/ a 2 year old boy moving to Firestone. She is desperate for friends...can I connect you two? she is also trying to get pg w/ # 2, not having luck and starting Clomid. Her hubby travels quite a bit and I know she would love having a girlfriend nearby.

  2. I totally have a friend like this, too! She lives in Colorado now. :) P.S. I <3 Continence!


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