Monday, July 13, 2009


As anyone who knows me already is aware, I only have one sibling. I have a brother, who will forever be my little brother. No matter how old we get, that is just the way it shall be. I never had a sister, and I never really wanted one to be truthful. Too much drama.

Having my girls has served to reinforce this thought in my mind. They fight about everything it seems, and there are days that drag on and on, me playing the role of the constant referee. Since they have had to share a room, the situation has become ever more strained. And I can't really say that I blame them. Neither of them has space of their own. Everything it seems, must be shared. Their room is a small one to begin with, and with both of them crammed in there, it doesn't leave much room for them to keep anything besides clothes and shoes. They have a couple baskets of other things, and that's about it.

Aidan, meanwhile, gets to reap the benefits of being the oldest. He has his own room, and he also scored the best room with the most windows. He has not just his bed and dresser, but his desk and bookcase. He has room for his toys, and room to play on the floor. Since he has a loft-style bed, a lot of his things can go underneath that. He, just generally, has more stuff. He has a room all his own. He can do his homework, he can create his art, and he can have his privacy in his room. The girls don't have that option.

We are working on finding a solution for the situation. Ideally, I want to close the wall in the loft and move Aidan in there, so we can split the girls up. We've discussed moving Aidan downstairs into what is now the office, but I'm not sure that I want him on his own floor just yet. We'll have to figure something out, and the sooner, the better. They need their own space, away from one another. Before they kill each other.

I fought with my brother growing up, for sure. But I know that if I would have had a sister, we would have fought more. I've seen how my girls fight. And they aren't old enough to fight over phones, makeup, friends, cars and boys yet. That time, I am afraid, will come. I hope that they make it through adolescence, I hope that we all make it through their adolescence. And I hope that they will find a way to share. To respect their differences. To take care of each other. To love each other even when they don't see eye to eye.

A few years ago, I got a sister. Not in the traditional sense, of course. She's my sister through marriage, my sister-in-law. We aren't genetically related. We don't have any long standing grudges against each other. We can't retell the same stories from our childhood, since they were spent on opposite sides of the country. But what we do have now is even better in some ways, I think. We have the love, the friendship, the trust, the understanding of sisters. But we have all that without the animosity, the anger, the bitterness, the judgment that comes from growing up together.

I always said that I never wanted a sister. I was wrong. I guess I just didn't know what I was missing. Love you Gretchen!

1 comment:

  1. Pretty sure no matter how much the argue, they are adorable:)


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