Tuesday, June 23, 2009


Life isn't fair. It's one of the hardest lessons to learn, and one that it seems we are never really done learning. Just when you think things are going your way, reality is there to put you in check. To steal away from you something precious.

Some people have a harder run with the unfairness than others. They struggle more, have more confrontations with fate. They lose more, are forced to live through more pain. Why is that? It just seems well, unfair.

The path that my life has carved has not been an easy one. At times it has been downright cruel. There have been countless times that I have stopped and asked that fateful question, the one that has been asked time and time again by people for centuries. Why? Why me? The realization that there is no answer to that question is torturous. There is no good answer. Horrible, terrible things happen. And sometimes those things happen to people who never did anything to deserve the pain and anguish. To the people who question their own ability to handle it.

Part of the lesson learned from these challenges is that we aren't really in control. At least not as much as we think we might be. Sometimes it just makes no difference how much you want something, how hard you work towards it, how much you long for it, how much you hope. If it isn't meant to be, none of that matters. Surrendering to that unkind reality does not happen by choice, I assure you.

If there is anything to be gained from the unfairness in life, it is this: what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger. Forgive the cliche, but it's the truth. You can handle much more than you ever imagine possible. And there are some things in this life that you can only truly appreciate when it's been a challenge to attain them. Through loss and pain, you realize what you really want. You learn where your true priorities lie. And you learn more about yourself, about your character than you ever would have if you didn't have to. If you weren't forced to.

Bad things happen to good people. But life goes on. And time heals. And you will, I promise, be stronger in the end.

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