Sunday, March 22, 2009

The Power of Words

This afternoon I read a book cover to cover, which hasn't happened in one sitting in a while. I was urged to read this particular book by a friend, one who shares many of my thoughts and feelings on spirituality and religion. She came upon it the way I did, at the recommendation of another. It is The Shack, and it was amazing.

There have been many, many times in my life when I have questioned the reasoning, the judgment and even the existence of God. I have spent countless nights wondering if there really is anything bigger than us, if there is a reason for all this. If there is a purpose in life. If the horrible things that happen are just our turn with mathematical probabilities.

The most trying moments in my life, I have asked why. I have looked for answers, for an explanation. I have been betrayed, I have been hurt, I have been injured, I have been violated and I have been alone. In my darkest days, I doubted. I doubted that God was real. If there was a God, why would he allow these things to happen? Why would he allow for such pain and loss?

This book spoke to my soul, in a deep and profound way. It has affected me in a way that books don't usually do. I suppose this is because of how often my own faith has been shaken. How often I have doubted.

Through the years, I have gained a clarity about my life. Though there have been some days and nights when I felt things could not possibly ever get better, they did. When I wondered what else could go wrong, and something else did, eventually the trend reversed. The biggest problem with trying times is that it is often difficult, if not impossible to see past them. Sometimes that light at the end of the tunnel is dim and fleeting. With time can you see the growth, changes and maturity that only come though blood, sweat and tears.

Things never make sense at the time. Looking back on the last 10 years of my life, never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined the path we would go down. Looking back now, I can see with a better understanding why. If it was not for all the pain, all the loss and all the hopelessness we endured, we would not be where we are today. I would not be where I am today. And maybe, just maybe, God had a hand in that.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Some of My Most Popular Posts